Simon doesn’t usually write guest posts, but when he does… he’s begging for Christmas gifts.

What Simonpants Wants, Needs, and Desperately Deserves for Christmas – 2013 Edition

Update for the mass public – even though I didn’t know about treats until the summer of 2012, I have now had a full year of treat eating under my belt.  My palette is also refined enough to now enjoy carrots, so I recommend you mail them to Texas.  I live in the main barn by the colt past the horse who ate his stall Christmas decorations… the post man should be able to find me based on those descriptions.

Likits and Cookies

During the great stall containment this year, I developed a taste for Likits.  I would like the ones that taste like candy, not the salty ones.  The salty ones are gross.  I also still like Mrs Pastures cookies, and carrots… and other fancy cookies.  Not peppermints.  Not apples.  Those are gross, don’t fool yourself.

A New Saddle (Still)

My mother was neglect in providing a new saddle for me this year.  I asked for one nicely, and while she attempted to fool me by narrowing the current saddle we have… I could not be tricked.  I want a new one, and I want it soon.  My back deserves it, don’t you think?

More Liniments and Feely Good Things

Ever since I got hurt and convinced my mom I was fragile, she doctors me.  She puts nice feely good stuff on me after we ride, and I’ve heard rumors of feely good boots.  I like to feely good.

More Weekend Shows

Last year I was not clear about my horse show request – I want weekend shows. With a stall and lots of cookies.  I do not like being tied to the trailer.  I do not like one day shows.  I do not like the busy schooling ring in the morning.  Do. Not. Like.

A Better Blanket

My thicker blanket is no good.  My pal Archie bit a hole in it, and now I feel a bit of a breeze.  Perhaps you can get one that isn’t so cheap next time?  Also, I don’t like being the unmatched horse.  Barn colors.  Plzkthx.

Should these requests be accommodated, I can promise more jumping of objects in the next year.  Those objects seem to be getting bigger… and you’re not a tiny mom – just sayin’.  My efforts should be rewarded.

Sincerely, your favorite horse that continues to jump around and not kill you therefore deserves lots of treats and shouldn’t be expected to do lead changes

You may also like:

Simon’s Christmas Wish List Simon’s 2014 Christmas Wishlist To Whom It May Concern Horse Sex Offender List The Great NC Christmas Adventure