I’ve been sick for over a week, and am kind of over it. I’d also be lying if I said this sickness had no affect on my mood. I’ve been a little bit more short than I normally would, and when I drove the long trek to the barn and rode even though I didn’t feel good – I needed my horse to be good.
And he so wasn’t.
To be fair, he was really fresh because I hadn’t been riding as much due to aforementioned plague, but it was beyond normal freshness. It was ‘oh my god i’m gonna spook at the SCARY PONY i can’t possibly listen to you when there’s a FIERY BREATHING PONY over there look at how SMALL AND ADORABLE it is omggggggggggggg’ kind of ride.
I can’t begin to tell you how many ponies this horse has seen in his life.
He used to live with ponies.
Ponies are his jam.
Anyway, I can’t expect every ride to be perfect and I can’t expect my horse to be 100% on his A game every time I get on. That being said, I have a huge problem as a rider and the past few rides with Simon have brought that out in a major way.
I have a temper.
I don’t beat on him. I don’t mercilessly hack at his mouth. I don’t whip. I don’t spur. I will over-use a halt transition to a back. I will have a tendency to nit pick too much. I am not as good at quitting when I’m ahead. Basically, our past few rides went something like this.
We’re going to trot around on a loose rein to warm up, K? K.
I am an amazing and powerful sport horse. I will trot more betterly than any horse has ever trotted before.
Not quite so fast. Relaxed trot.
Ermahgerd a pony! It’s new! I must stare at it but maintain my trot so I am an amazing sport horse.
Stop looking at the pony.
This part of the ring is boring, I will trot really slowly because it is not interesting.
Don’t trot so slow.
I will trot faster than any horse has trotted before!
Don’t trot so fast.
Lookit the pony is still there! Hi Pony!
Damnit. We are going to circle until you stop being an idiot.
By circle you mean oblong?
Pretty sure I mean circle.
You are driving me crazy. Halt damnit.
Oh my god I’m a bad horse.
You’re not a bad horse. Listen to me.
I’m a bad bad horse.
I’m the worst horse that ever lived. Now you will sell me and I will have to be a race horse again WHICH I ALSO FAILED AT.
I’m not going to sell you. Trot this circle or I may murder you.
WHO CAN CIRCLE AT A TIME LIKE THIS? AHHHHHH!
And then it continues. And then I get angry. And then he gets more anxious. And then I leave the barn feeling like the only productive thing I did was organize my tack trunk.
I sent a SOS text to my trainer asking for a private lesson this week. She’s half Simon’s trainer and half his therapist… maybe she can do some relationship counseling for us and kill my temper once and for all.