What You Would Say On Your Blog! – Part I

What You Would Say On Your Blog! – Part I

Remember when I asked y’all what you would say on your blog if you could be 100% anonymous?  Well, the results are in!

Some responses are snarky, some are thoughtful and some are just plain interesting.  I will refrain from commentary and let people speak for themselves!

Since there were so many responses, I grouped everything into themes and will post in a small series over the next week or so.

13174718244_25e75e5f53_z

Thoughts on our blogs themselves.

I met one of my best friends because of blogging.

Most of your blogs bore me to TEARS.

Luckily for me there isn’t much barn drama so I can’t say I hold back that often! But I do wonder where all the editing comes from, how we’re terrified to drop trainer names or barn buddies or barn owners- everyone just has an abbreviation! Hilarious 🙂

13174531055_0da5019642_z

Thoughts on feedback, comments and overall respect.

I wish I could express more of my own opinions on things without getting a whole slew of not-so-constructive criticism. I’d love to tell a bunch of people that my opinions are just that – my opinions. I don’t expect anyone else to follow my lead on things, but I do expect some amount of respect.

I worked a job that sounded like an equestrian’s dream, but my manager totally ruined it for me. She sucked all the joy out of work by micro-managing and never supporting any of my decisions. I grew to secretly hate her and for several months after leaving my job, I avoided places where I thought I had a chance of running into her or anyone associated with the job. I was terrified she’d ruin my reputation in the area!

I’m really fucking sick of fellow bloggers FREAKING OUT about lameness in comments. Just because my horse took a few bad steps doesn’t mean he has EPM or will never be able to walk again. Seriously, take a chill pill!

I’m not a blogger, just a semi-regular commenter. I try to adhere to the ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ rule, but sometimes I want to tell people ‘take a f@#$ing lesson already!’ They go on and on about their struggles but expect their horse to magically improve.

13175188293_8ce603760d_z

Some don’t feel the need to vent at all.

Honestly — one of the core concepts of my blog is honesty & integrity, even if it means saying “wow, I fucked up.” And while I also strive to remain professional, if I disagree with something or view grossly unethical practices or bad horsemanship — I’ll call it out. Trying to think of something I wish I could say but “can’t” …..mmmm, nope, unless you count things where I would like to say “you are an idiot and just wrong” but I decide to use restraint and tact instead, haha.

I really would like to vent uncensored, but find the positive outlook is better for me.

13175193995_2e705bd1be_z

True blogger confessions.

I put on a big show. I show across the country, but don’t place very well. I like to spin the results to build myself up in others’ eyes, but in reality, I’m just a scared ammy with big ambitions, a big pocketbook, and tiny balls.

My trainer doesn’t believe in me. They talk about me behind my back, treat me like a child, and never listen to what I have to say. They are selfish, rude, ignorant, and intent on pushing horses up and up the levels before they are ready. They believe they know better than a lot of people, including top level riders, and that it should always be their way or the highway. According to them, everything I try on my own is folly, and me taking my time in training is ignorance, not just being careful. The other riders at the barn ostracize me for no apparent reason. I don’t have a single friend there; nobody I feel I can truly count on. I feel like I am constantly surrounded by people who just want to cut me down or see me fail.

13175542243_a2c4c615f5_z

Money brings out strong feelings.

I am an average rider, I don’t have any special trainers and haven’t had any breathtaking opportunities (like riding with Grand Prix riders, showing at prestigious events, etc)… I’d love to write a blog post about the “backyard riders” that everyone seems to look down on. Sure, I don’t have the top of the line Tailored Sportsman breeches or own 50 different bridles, but I still can ride and enjoy my horse! Sometimes I feel like my readers look down on me because I’m not as wealthy, aspiring or “cool” as them. *shrugs* I don’t really know where I am going with this, other than whenever I see a “LOOK AT ALL THE LOOT I BOUGHT” post, I cringe and die a little bit inside because I know I will never have that freedom to buy a $500 bridle or riding shirt.

It would be interesting to have a frank discussion of the money angle. Lots of us have ads on our blogs, and I know I keep track of the ad revenue from mine and tweak it to go up or down. I have hopes of at least chipping in for my horse’s vet fund someday but am nowhere near that yet. I kind of wonder how other people are doing – and how many people are blogging for the money as a primary reason, rather than secondary.

Just because you ride in schooling outfits that cost more than my horse, doesn’t mean you’re better than me.

What the fuck do you do for a living to buy all this shit and spend uber amounts of money on the shit you say you are doing?

Some bloggers are really forthcoming about budget and you can see how they make it all work through scrimping or saving for certain things. But others seem to have found a pot of gold. How can you afford to go to all these AA shows and buy custom saddles and boots, plus new breeches, shirts and belts all the time?!

13175748964_f8b23d5174_z

And then there’s this person, who may win at the internet.

meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

48 thoughts on “What You Would Say On Your Blog! – Part I

  1. Interesting read. Makes me sad for those who feel as though they can’t be themselves…very sad. I hate to see that.

    I am kind of surprised at the number of people who chose to comment on other peoples blogging styles…interesting indeed.

    I will say I have wondered about the money thing too for some people – but not because I am hateful or jealous – just more wondering what line of work they are in and how I can get in that same position! lol

    1. I agree, a few of these made me sad. I want everyone to enjoy their horse (and their horse blog) and feel really confident in themselves!

      The money issue was more prevalent than I realized. I try not to get jealous, but am curious like you at what some people do for a living!

      1. I know people with trust funds who never once mention that they have them, just how hard they work at their “job” and how they show on a budget. Their show budget is bigger than my annual salary, so yeah… no sympathy here.

        I’m also jealous of all the free swag that some bloggers get. I want the free stuff too!

        1. BTW, I love this blog for how “real” it is – your life isn’t painted in a perfect picture and you have the confidence to be real with us. <3 you!

          1. I’m not jealous of your swag! Ok, maybe a little, but it seems like others get “sponsors” and post about boxes and boxes of stuff they get in the mail to “review.” Bah!

  2. Interesting, wow. The money comments make me a little sad. No way would I ever look down on someone because they don’t wear TS or whatever, if people enjoy their horses and treat them well that is truly all that matters. I would hope fellow bloggers feel similarly.

    Some of the other comments go between funny, thoughtful, and a bit sad. This is definitely more snarky than I expected it to be, lol.

    1. I definitely don’t look down on other bloggers who don’t have fancy stuff, and I don’t dismiss bloggers who *do* have fancy stuff. I admit I don’t like some of the attitude that goes along with some of the fancy things, although I don’t have any specific examples and that’s more a real life commentary than a blog life one.

      1. Yeah I hear that! Idk I didn’t grow up anything remotely approaching wealthy so I feel like I can see both sides. Being in a place where you feel judged.. No matter why… Sucks :/ I just feel badly that people who are struggling along as best they can feel like others look down on them. I think it’s really admirable, I had to do it myself for a long time.

        The post about the trainer who talks badly about the client and pushes horses is also worrisome. I hope this person makes a change, because that sounds totally miserable. 🙁

    1. Yeh, I thought that comment was unnecessary and just plain mean. I also write more for myself than other’s entertainment. I wasn’t aware there were trolls in the equine blogosphere until seeing this post. It’s really too bad.

    2. Same here. I started my blog in order to keep track of my lessons and funny shit my trainer says. If someone else finds that interesting, great; if not, don’t let the door hit you…

  3. To some extent I think the question invited negative comments precisely because people don’t feel comfortable being negative on their blogs (which I think is good! focus on the positive!). Also its a faux pas to talk about money to some degree (also that whole privacy thing). However lots of the responses seemed to be more like “inner thought” comments on others’ posts rather than things people would post on their own blog.

    Personally I have found the blogosphere to be supportive, kind, and provocative in a good way. Especially when it comes to suggestions and constructive criticism when I’ve had problems.

    And hooray for the meow person. Indeed.

    1. Personally I have found the blogosphere to be supportive, kind, and provocative in a good way. Especially when it comes to suggestions and constructive criticism when I’ve had problems.

      Agreed! I love the equine blogging community (but maybe that’s because I’m aggressively optimistic)!

    2. Yeah, definitely a mix of the kind of comments that people put up for sure.

      I would agree that the blog land is mostly supportive and a great group! They have helped me through some dark days.

  4. Kind of amusing and interesting. I rarely wonder how people pay for things, mostly because if you’ve been around enough you know that there’s all kinds of people and all kinds of ways to do things in the horse world. What I DO find a little funny is the people who feel they’re looked down upon because they don’t have expensive things. While I guess this does happen, I think it goes the other way as well – there’s also a group among us who seem to get a bit holier than thou toward those who DO have nice things, as if they’re better because they make do with less. At the end of the day I think we all have to realize that everyone is different, has different circumstances, different needs, different opinions, but we all love our horses. And if you don’t like someone’s blog, don’t read it! 😉

    1. I definitely fall into that “poor person” category and I don’t feel like I am better than anyone else because I ride in a headstall that has a missing screw (which I binder-twined back together). I WISH I had the luxury of expensive things, but it just will never happen. I am OK with that, although I do envy people who have a multitude of horsey equipment/things.

  5. These are really interesting! This was a great idea, Lauren. I can agree with some for sure. After fifteen plus years of being involved in horses and most of them owning my own horse, I’ve found that being able to lay my head on the pillow at night and feel good about what I’ve done for my horse is what is most important. I’ve stopped trying to pretend to be what I’m not – at this stage in my life, I just want to enjoy my horse and be the best rider I can be for her. The comment about the person’s trainer degrading them and having no friends at their barn makes me so sad. I have been there and it’s a miserable place to be.

  6. Wow… Kudos for this. Probably a really favorite post of mine. I wish I could’ve gotten in on this but I’m missed it… And for the person with the trainer who doesn’t believe in her… Believe in yourself. <3 You need that #sayiwont attitude and show them you can do it. Other than that it'll just hold you back from the things you really deserve. Look at it this way, I was called a tarp-throwing rope-wiggler who doesn't know anything about training a horse… But I'm also the one who doesn't have to drug my horse to go out on a trail ride. 🙂 You're probably not going to see this though, so this really goes out for everyone.

  7. Loved this SO much. As a brand-new blogger it gave me some interesting perspective. Especially about the money issues, because I am broke as a joke, haha. But I make my horse habit pay for itself mostly… so maybe that’s an untapped little niche for my new writing eh? Thanks Lauren!

    MEOW.

  8. meow meow meow… no seriously, tho, super interesting post. i probably fall into the ‘no need to vent’ category bc i’m too new to the game.

    but some of these responses def made me think. it’s super easy to get stuck worrying about ppl judging you for your mismatched tack, or conversely for your uber-luxury schooling gear. my opinion, tho, is that the only person whose judgement matters is the person you’re paying for it (or perhaps ppl you love and trust – or maybe just the horse?).

    all the same tho… i definitely relate to some of the above responses, and am curious to see what other themes you found!

  9. These are really interesting. The one about the trainer/barn situation is so sad and I really hope that person can find something better. The whole $ thing really surprised me. I guess I’ve been poor for so much of my life that I’m used to people having things I can’t afford and just don’t notice it anymore. Honestly, I really like the bloggers that are able to buy lots if things because of the reviews they do. It helps me decide if a product is worth saving up for/splurging on and to find things that I didn’t even know were out there.

  10. This is really interesting! I find that “your blogs are SO BOOOORING” comment kind of amusing. Why waste your time reading something boring? Go somewhere else! It would be nice if EVERY single post written was full of WOW I WON THESE THINGS or WOW THIS ADVENTURE or WOW I DID THIS AMAZING THING, but the reality is that most every day in a horse person’s life is filled with practicing and doing the same old rituals. The same feeding, grooming, mucking, tack cleaning. We don’t suddenly become champions at something overnight. It’s the constant little details, the mundane hours and hours and hours we put in working hard day in and day out, that make us that way.

    I find ALL of everyone’s blogs interesting, even just the ones that say “we went out and walked around in the field again today, like we always do.” It’s someone’s actual life story being played out, not some fabricated novel that is supposed to be entertaining. Real life to me is MORE entertaining.

    1. I find that strange too…like why bother reading! I love reading all the blogs, even if I don’t comment. It’s like a real life soap opera…following the lives of people with their horses and dogs. I truly love it.

  11. I haven’t posted on my blog in ages, in large part because it felt like not enough “interesting” things were going on in my horsey world. (compared to folks who show a lot, lesson a lot, or buy a lot – lol)

    Sadly I worried more about what others might think of me and what I write, than my original purpose of blogging – a journal of the day to day struggle of keeping a horse, finding good instruction and moving forward in my horsemanship. (even if it’s at a snail’s pace sometimes)

    I agree with Angela’s comment. The blogs that keep it real, and you can tell who’s authentic, are the ones that bring you back, no matter what the subject matter that day.

    (P.S. I’ve always heard “If you’re bored, then you must be boring.”)

  12. Let me confess i didn’t take the survey. I didn’t because i was pretty sure people would know it was me anyways.

    As to boring blogs… some of them are boring. Some of them are also badly written,self serving, fascinating, compelling, heart wrenching, touching, silly, funny and others… just plain annoying as hell. Most horse bloggers aren’t actual writers. They are people who love horses and happen to write about it. So i try to take that into consideration when im reading a meandering blog post that lost its way and forgot to have a point. I read a lot of horse blogs, some i read because i love them, others because i find their lives interesting and so different from mine, others still because i feel like we have a lot in common and then theres the ones i hate read. I probably read them for the same reason i watch the real housewives of Beverly hills and yell at my TV. Because its hard to look away from a car crash. If we are being honest. One of the nice things about horse blogs is that there is a lot to chose from.

    As to the money thing:
    Some people got to have it
    Some people really need it
    Listen to me y’all, do things
    Do things, do bad things with it
    You wanna do things, do things
    Do things, good things with it
    Talk about cash money, money
    Talk about cash money
    Dollar bills, yall

  13. How did I miss this posting?? Would’ve loved to comment. Lots of people said what I would’ve said, basically to a T. especially about money. Love this post!!!!

  14. Very interesting! For the blogger with the nasty trainer – MOVE ON!!!!! I left a trainer because she didn’t believe in me. Who has time for that?

    Regarding the haves and have nots: who cares what you wear? I must be reading different blogs than you all because I have yet to run across that issue.

    More on the haves and have nots: I wrote a year-long series on the ACTUAL costs of showing and keeping two horses in California. I was brutally honest about what it cost me. I don’t read 1,000 blogs, but it seems to me that the majority of bloggers are in their 20s or early 30s. I was broke back then, too. Now, hubby and I are no longer broke and have money to do whatever we want. We don’t have trust funds, we just worked hard. My husband is the controller of an agricultural company (in charge of reporting where money goes), and I am a teacher. It took 20 years in our respective jobs, but our salaries finally caught up with our desires. :0)

    Thanks for this series, Lauren. :0)

  15. Interesting post ! Good comment from Bakersfield Dressage – I’m older than the average blogger as well… I wouldn’t have had the money in my 20s to do much horse related.

    I have a decent job (government) and no kids, so my budget for horse stuff is now ok.

    I’m not really surprised about money being a “thing” – it is in real life, so why not online as well? I can’t imagine looking down on someone because they don’t have the lastest whatevers though…

    I don’t know if anyone here reads any personal finance blogs? They are very interesting from a “blogging” standpoint. Lots of bloggers “buy” blogs and have them as 100% monetized. Lots of recycled posts and ads, etc. A lot of finance bloggers list their incomes, savings, debt and how much they make from their ads. I do realize they could be fudging the numbers, but a lot of them put some numbers out there.

  16. I was so curious as to what responses you would get!! Why would someone follow blogs if they feel they are boring first off? Money will always be a touchy subject in life but more so in this sport where many feel you can’t excel without it. I often wonder for those that appear to spent lots of money what they do for a living so I can too!! Some I wonder how truthful they are…

  17. OMG, I love this post! As is usual in every survey, I read some of the responses and went, oh, I didn’t even think about that! Very interesting and some definitely resonate.

    As to the blogs themselves, maybe it’s my own age, maybe it’s my insane life, but it’s interesting to observe the different perspectives of different age brackets, financial demographics, and just plain life experiences/backgrounds. The way we read is naturally tinted by our own bias, but there are definitely “stages of life!!”

    It makes me sad too, although I COMPLETELY understand the feeling, that the backyard riders feel the stigma. While I started writing my blog for myself (and I still do in part), it also partly morphed into a testimony of an adult with no money and a full time job and life madness. I have been lucky to have generous people in my life who have given amazing gifts & I am grateful to them every day.

    I do think (& FB is the worst for this) is that it can be easy to get discouraged by “everyone is out showing and doing stuff.” I struggle with it sometimes too — but being super-involved with my Adult Rider program has helped remind me that that’s not really true. People like to share the good stuff, but in horse world, if your horse has not gone lame and ruined your plans, well, he will, LOL.

    Ummmm, I’m going to stop this rambling essay now, I don’t even remember the point, dang ADHD, and did I mention I LOVE THIS POST!

  18. There are times that I really wish that I could open up and vent about situations and even people that are bothering me, but I don’t want anybody to stumble on to my blog and be offended…

  19. I feel like you should keep this anonymous comments page up forever for people to vent! It could definitely get interesting.

    And the cat thing definitely made me laugh out loud.

  20. I have been reading many horse blogs for a long time now, and like anything else, I have my favorites. Some are must-reads/click on the post instantly and others, if I get to them once a month, I’m cool. Some I have quit visiting altogether when what they were doing or saying just didn’t interest me. Gee, that was tough! I don’t know why someone felt the need to be so negative. Stay secure, ladies! 😉 Write primarily for yourselves and enjoy it. That’s what I did when I was keeping up with my blog. If you make a little dough on the side, or get freebies, good for you.

    I agree that the person in the bad barn situation sounds awfully sad. I hope she finds a new place soon.

  21. P.S. Did any of this surprise me? Not one bit. Women in general can be biatches, particularly to each other, and horse women? Forget it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *