What You Would Say on Your Blog! – Part III

What You Would Say on Your Blog! – Part III

It’s the final anonymous survey blog post!  I daresay today is the least controversial of the three posts… which may be good.  I get the sense that after last week’s post, everyone is ready for a little less drama on their lives!

Thoughts on overall horsemanship.

I had a bad experience in IHSA, and I’d like to share it, and call out a few specific barns in the process… but I don’t want to stir drama. Seriously though, it’s not okay to use barely broke, or dead-lame horses for IHSA!

Shut up and just ride your horse. Ride and love the horse you have and quit pretending that your horse has super secret hidden powers. Its a horse. You can ridr with the best trainer and own a great horse but if you are a shit rider…you probably aren’t going to win. A great rider on a shit horse…you have a good chance of having fun and the win becomes extra special. And stop ASSuming you know everything there is to know about horses just because you read about it in a magazine. Don’t like your barn, LEAVE. Your negativity makes me hate you.

I wish I could call out people in the local horse community for being shady and demonstrating shitty horsemanship and morals. I don’t share my blog with any of my friends but since it’s on the interwebs I sensor myself to a degree when I might mention other happenings in my life. I try to keep my blog generally positive because it’s a journal of my horses non-linear progress….and I don’t want it to be too whiny.

The reason your horse’s feet are bad is because your farrier is doing a terrible job.

That I am pissed off, that my good friend has chosen to put showing and ribbons above horse care and treating people with respect. I will never respect those who drug to win, or just make very bad horsemanship choices just for a ribbon!

Turning your horses out will solve so many of the training issues you keep ranting about.

Your vet is robbing you!

I would call out the slimy local horse dealer who continues to get rich selling garbage to the inexperienced and uneducated. It makes me furious to see it continue to happen while honest people like me struggle just to get by in this industry.

Please feed your horse. If he can’t gain weight, put him down. Loving him is NOT ENOUGH. Keep him healthy or don’t drag out his discomfort. You are selfish

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I knew there’d be some barn drama!

Boarder #1 – please pick up on my non-verbals!!! I don’t care about you and your husband and all the drama in your lives!! Boarder #2 – You are a complete idiot and you should kiss my feet everytime you see me and then you should kiss your horse for not killing you and your children. Friend #1 – As much as I love hanging out with you, no I don’t want to spend 3 hours WALKING our horses on a trail.

I would talk about the crazy frustrations I have with my barn’s assistant trainer, who drives me up a wall every day. I would also probably discuss some of the insane barn drama that occurs, and some of the sadness I feel when a horse is injured or has surgery. There would be more interpersonal relationship stuff, rather than glossing over it, and I would definitely discuss my frustrations with certain people/staff/policies etc.

The few dressage riders that do ride in my city are for the most part, a selfish bunch who resent any success a newbie might have. When I first made the switch to dressage, they REFUSED to offer any support or any guidance. Basically, they gave the sport a bad name. Because of them, my local dressage chapter is actually with another city 45 miles away. You ladies SUCK!

I would have loved to share some of the crazy barn drama that just about made me give up riding a while back. I know I can’t be the only one! But, to put all the crazy out there would have meant details, and not only do the other people deserve privacy, I worried about the internet reception to ‘Hey, the crazy lady is scared of my horse and rather than go in the paddock has been rationing my horse’s water and ‘forgets’ to feed and it took several weeks and multiple visits from the vet for me to figure it out!” Ouch.

other people at my barn that do dumb things, real, more in depth reasons for leaving a barn

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Barn owners get similar criticism to trainers.

I also wish I could be more honest with my barn owner: your own horse is too thin, your understanding of horse care is outdated and quite often wrong, and you are often rude. Just because you own the place doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have to follow the “sharing” rules. Why should I have to move out of the cross ties in the barn aisle when you can simply go out the other way? No, I do not want to stand and hold your horse every time you need to pee. No, my horse did not threaten to kick you when you walked by. Please don’t shake the tarp behind me as I lead my horse by. Please don’t leave your stall gate open so that it stands in the middle of the barn aisle. How can I safely walk my horse by? Stop me now, please. I could go on and on. I only blog about good things if they pertain to other people. Sometimes I wish I could just blog about EVERYTHING without the need for a filter.

My current barn owner is terrible and hasn’t got a clue about either horses or barn management!

Barns should be operated with honesty and integrity but in my experience the only thing that matters is th money!

I’d love to talk about the horrible barn manager that was feeding my horse one flake of hay a day on a dirt pen and kept telling me that I needed to up the grain. Didn’t find out until she asked me to watch the farm for her for a weekend. I showed up the next morning and opened a whole bale of hay for the horses. And then I started calling around and moved out two weeks later.

I would love to talk about the fact that there seems to be an astonishing number of barn owners/managers who are truly insane. What is up with that? Do they go crazy from running the barn, or is it that a lot of crazy people tend to want to be in charge of boarding/training facilities?

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Overall, I thought this blog series was interesting.  It was a bit more of a rant fest than I anticipated, so I”m not sure I’ll repeat it.  I would challenge any equestrian blogger out there to take on some of these topics and respectfully turn them into blog posts.  There is a lot of content here that is worth discussing!

What do y’all think?

29 thoughts on “What You Would Say on Your Blog! – Part III

  1. I’m somewhat surprised at just how vehement some of these submissions are. Borderline classless. I think someone mentioned it before – a lot of these rants are more directed towards bloggers rather than what a blogger would post if they could. I didn’t think these answers were supposed to be ranty/comment-like. I understand the need to rant, but a few of these are a bit much. If I knew the people behind them, I most likely wouldn’t want to be their friend – especially whoever mentioned the ‘negativity makes them hate’. You can criticize without being tactless.

    That being said, it was an interesting experiment. The horse world is a conflicted place. I find more emotion/anger/jealousy/hatred/deceit/judgment among horse people than any other environment…except maybe High School haha.

    1. I would agree with you to some extent, but I also think some of the comments are general and while could cover some bloggers… also cover a lot of non-bloggers.

      Still, I asked specifically for people to NOT pinpoint any comments towards a certain individual. That obviously wasn’t followed.

      I debated censoring some, but I said I would post everything – so that’s what I did. I think there’s something constructive to come from some of these, but others are just rampant negativity in my opinion.

      1. Oh of course. Some of the comments actually conform to what you asked. I just noticed a pattern across all three of your posts that I honestly didn’t expect 🙁

  2. After reading all that I’m feeling very thankful for my low drama barn, with minimal craziness from owners/managers/other boarders. I’ve got it good compared to these people!

  3. I respect the people that blog about what’s actually happening. When you only blog about the rainbows and butterflies it makes me feel like people are hiding stuff. That said I do understand feeling frustrated when it’s all negative but I’m guilty of that too. We’re human. And life being life isn’t all sunshine times. I can relate to most bloggers when they share their highs and their lows.

    As others said. People don’t feel the need to be anonymous about positivity so this did kind of lean towards getting negative thoughts but it was interesting.

  4. I’m not at all surprised by the criticism in these replies.
    Bloggers were asked for their true feelings. I have thought pretty much the same thing at one time or another in regards to horse care.
    I feel the ignorant, uneducated, & the”unwilling to be educated” horse owner far out number the caring and “continually striving to learn more” owner. Just take a cruise down the Craig’s list aisle for a eye opener. It least there are eyes at the boarding barns. There isn’t anyone to help the horse suffering in the mud pit behind his owners house and the abusive riding and equipment.

    Unfortunately with regards back to horse care, for so many owners it comes down to the money. They just are not prepared to meet all the expenses that come with a horse. And horses can live a long time past their riding career. My own retired mare is 29. Still sound enough to pack a young teenage girl around the field, but not sound enough to navigate hills, and she could live to 35. Possibly. It’s been a 29 commitment to her. And I have a 2nd horse quickly reaching her teen years!

    1. Good for you for taking such good care of your mare! I really hope that one day I can say the same about Simon happily enjoying life in a field safe and sound 🙂

      You’re right about how many horses don’t even have the ‘crazy barn owner’ looking out for them.

  5. I rarely comment on this blog, but I can’t hold myself back any longer.

    To be honest, this whole series of “What Would You Say…” makes me sick. It does nothing but bring more drama and negativity to an already cutthroat sport. Let’s call it what it is: a forum for bloggers to bring out the worst in others, and I just can’t get behind that concept. In my opinion, there is no place in the blogosphere for that kind of negativity and I certainly won’t participate in a blog series that cuts other people down. Of course, riding horses is never rainbows and lollipops all the time and we all have our ups and downs, but creating a blog series that promotes vicious comments about other people is not something I’m interested in. I’m sure I’ll lose followers for being this harsh and this honest, and I may be the only person that feels this way, but so be it. I’ll just stay in my little rose-colored corner of the blogosphere and be happy.

    /rant

    1. I have to defend Lauren. Everyone has thoughts that we out of politeness don’t speak out loud. Maybe the person shaking the tarp dose not realize it spooks other horses. I don’t see this blog being vicious or negative, it may be therapeutic to some to be able to anonymously get something off their chest. And then move on. Everyone needs to vent once in awhile, even people who wear rose colored glass’s and lead charmed lives. Not everyone has a strong support group to fall back on with encouragement . Lots of people struggle with inner turmoil with themselves and their horses being treated with decency and respect. Maybe this blog helps them to see something is not right and make changes.

    2. I disagree that it’s a forum for bloggers to bring out the worst in others. Some of the comments, especially in the first post, were almost a cry for help. If you check the comments, many people offered support to the anonymous submissions who wrote in feeling rejected and hopeless.

      As for your opinion, you are certainly entitled to it. I would much rather you come here and confront your feelings head on than leave comments on other people’s blogs about how much you dislike this series.

      The only person who knows my motives for posting this is me, and as I stated – I wanted to bring some stuff up for discussion. Yes, it did get snarkier than I intended… but that’s what happens with experiments.

      I try to experiment with different topics/posts here that you may not find on the average horse blog. Some people will like them, and some won’t but part of the fun for me and blogging is pushing the boundaries a bit.

      1. I agree…I don’t think it was that bad. People want to vent – so be it. Some of the negative stuff that was said is true – even if it helps one person open their eyes and become a better horse owner or friend then hey, something has been accomplished.

        I wouldn’t read too far into a lot of the comments.

  6. Agreed. Interesting. Thank you for it.

    I’m glad it is anonymous, I think hearing some peoples thoughts would make me not want to know them. But that is the whole point of this venture.

    Some stuff I can agree with, other stuff makes my eyes roll. But each her own.

  7. I’m not at all surprised by this. I’ve boarded at enough barns there’s usually rants of one kind or another. People need to get their frustrations out and anonymously is the really the only way.

    But the one that really got me was this:

    “No, my horse did not threaten to kick you when you walked by. Please don’t shake the tarp behind me as I lead my horse by. Please don’t leave your stall gate open so that it stands in the middle of the barn aisle. How can I safely walk my horse by?”

    It was years ago, but I was a witness to someone deliberately trying to set up an ‘accident’ with someone else’s horse. And that, ladies & gentleman, is pure unadulterated evil. I don’t care if you don’t like someone, or if you don’t like their horse, you do NOT try to get them hurt, in any way, shape or form.

  8. There have been several anonymous comments that make me hope I never have the displeasure of meeting – irl or otherwise – the people who left them. You can disagree, disapprove, whatever – but there’s no need to be hateful. Get some help – and I feel sorry for your horses.

  9. For the most part over the years I’ve found the blog community to be one of the most positive and supportive horse groups I’ve ever had the pleasure to be part of, but at the same time I have to be honest and say some of these comments don’t surprise me.

    That said, I’ve enjoyed much of this series and do wish we could be more open about certain topics on our blogs.

    Speaking for myself I live in a very tiny community with the local horse community being even smaller. A single comment about why I left a barn could filter down to the point where I can’t get good service at the cafe on the corner (that didn’t happen but seriously small community)! It’s unfortunate that tiptoeing around certain locals has left my blog missing many stories I’d like to tell.

  10. My thoughts exactly, SprinklerBandit. I enjoyed this exercise as it did give that point to vent, from the hopeless to the extremely snarky. I read it as an outlet for people to get things off their chest, not to point fingers.

  11. All I can say is this makes me EXTREMELY grateful I can keep my horses at home!! Wow I can’t believe some of the drama people have to put up with in boarding situations… especially people not feeding their horses… that just makes me sick!!

  12. The different reactions from everyone are strange.
    I read this thinking “Hey, Lauren could do the world a service by providing bloggers a way to vent anonymously and get their gripes off their chests.”
    Other people read it and either think “What a poisonous bunch of bitches” (yeah I’m overstating the case) or “Why can’t people just say it as it is? Why does it have to be pink fluffy ponies all the time?”
    I didn’t contribute – I could have, with my Barn Owner history! – but I’ve been fascinated with the stuff people have to say.
    Kudos to you for doing this.

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