(Some of) the Worst Horse Movies Ever
I recently had a discussion with some folks about the worst “guilty pleasure” movie you’ve ever seen. For me this is probably almost every horse movie ever made.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some good ones. Seabiscuit is my personal favorite. Black Beauty makes me cry every damn time, and The Black Stallion is an all time classic.
But some movies, oh some movies. How far have they fallen.
The Young Black Stallion
Disney, you should have left this one alone. So the actual movie is okay and features your normal young child + beautiful arabian in beautiful desert setting, but what killed me is the prequel to the movie which they included in the DVD. In case you don’t want to waste 8 minutes of your life, let me just tell you that it involves a lot of The Black’s sire who just so happens to be a magical Friesian from the sky. Yes, a Friesian.
Moondance Alexander
Quirky teen + escaped pinto = champion show hunters. Need I say more? Throw in a snobby rich “rival” and you have the total package. Oh Don Johnson, how far you’ve fallen…
The Princess and the Pony
Folks, I am 28 years old. I can’t believe I watched this. I can’t believe I’m admitting watching this on a public blog.
So there you have it, three of the worst movies I’ve seen… but there sure are more. What’s the worst horse movie you’ve ever seen?
29 thoughts on “(Some of) the Worst Horse Movies Ever”
I know I’ve seen a few stinkers but none come to mind right now. I haven’t seen these three though. Glad my grand kids haven’t asked to see them …so far. They do sound a little stupid.
Oh yes Moondance Alexander is one of THE WORST I’ve watched, thanks to COTH.
LOL! Love this post. Bad movies though. errr, so I’ve heard.
“Amazing Racer” A friend of mine with an off the track standardbred was super excited to see it and we had a girls get together. The party was fun, the movie was horrible!
I SAW THAT! It was awwwwwwwwwwwful.
I hated it, too!! Sad, it had potential..
Oh god, Moondance Alexander. Words can’t describe how much frustration I felt towards that movie.
Wildfire was my guilty pleasure for the longest time. So. Much. Drama. But at least it had decent acting and lots of pretty horses, even if the story line of racing an 8 year old TB in the Kentucky Derby was a little hard for me to take.
I completely agree. So much so that I watched every. damn. episode.
I totally watched that ENTIRE series on Netflix. It was decent, except for almost EVERY horse fact in the show. HAHAHA! Right now my guilty pleasure show on Netflix is Heartland. I read the books as a kid and the show is kind of cute. You always have to take horse shows/movies with a grain of salt!
I thought Warhorse was just awful…. waaaay too sanitised. I came out of it saying “The battlefield scenes were the best bits” which is pretty damning coming from a horse lover.
I remember watching Misty of Chincoteague and feeling goosebumps on my arms with the first few scenes… it was just like the book…and just as how I’d imagined it… perfect (I think I was about 13)
I COMPLETELY agree! Disliked it a lot.
Aww, I thought that Warhorse was pretty good!
I am a huge fan of the Man From Snowy River duology. Loved, loved, loved it. And I enjoyed Spirit. Loved International Velvet with Tatum O’Neal, and The Electric Horseman (must have watched it a dozen times), and loved, loved, loved Hidalgo.
Thought The Black Stallion was horrible (I was such a huge fan of the books, I think I was disappointed in the casting), Flicka (also loved the books and was horrified at the movies), didn’t like National Velvet, and hated how Phar Lap ended.
I watched the Snowy River series as a kid, and my grandmother turned it off halfway through because she didn’t think it was “appropriate” for someone my age. I’m not 100% convinced I’ve seen the whole thing!
Horse movies need to be edited by a horse person!!!
Agreed!
There was that one movie, with the racing zebra? Can’t remember the title, but that was bad. I didn’t really like War Horse either and the newest Flicka movie was quite bad as well.
I did however love Seabiscuit, National Velvet, Hildalgo and The Black Stallion.
Racing Stripes. It also had a talking fly… yeah, that was bad.
Anyone ever seen Sylvester? About a girl who takes a horse (previously a cattle horse) to Rolex? Parts of it were shot at the Kentucky Horse Park during the actual Rolex Three-Day Event. I have a special attachment to this movie for two reasons: 1) My aunt’s horse was one of the stunt horses and 2) I’m in the movie for about a nano second as a 3 year-old 🙂
I’ve seen it!! You can find it on Netflix… (I’m the nerd who searched for horse movies on Netflix, I was surprised by how many are on there!)
I loooove Sylvester! Don’t think that’s a “bad” one at all 🙂 Cool you were in it!
Flicka is pretty terrible, though I must admit that I own it and have seen it several times…
I love this post. I have not seen any of these movies but have watched my fair share of embarrassing ones. I wish I had a list. I pretty much would watch anything that had a horse in it until… oh wait… I still do that.
Man From Snowy River is awesome. And Black Beauty will forever hold a soft spot in my heart.
OMG…I haven’t seen Moondance Alexander!! Sloane (my daughter) and I are totally watching it tomorrow (if available)!! I posted about Danny…1977 classic. My favs are International Velvet (always cry at the end when the aunt is walking on the beach) & Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit. Am I crazy to say that I think they are both good?? I remember watching Justin Morgan Had a Horse as a kid and always renting it (along with a VCR…wow, dating myself) at the video store. No idea whether it was a good or bad…assuming bad!
I still have never seen ‘The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit’. Everyone tells me that’s a good one!
Okay, I can’t remember the name (it was something suitably corny- had ‘Champion’ in the title, I think) but it was a Zac Efron (I know, right?) STEEPLECHASING movie. And it was too bad for words. I mean…. the guy can’t even ride, and the riding doubles were so darned obvious. It’s bad. Really bad.
One I DO like is ‘Pit Pony’. Gets me sobbing every time.
Oh my. I tried to watch the trailer for the Princess and the Pony but I just couldn’t. That’s definitely one of the worst I’ve seen.
And how come no one has mentioned Wild Hearts Can’t be Broken?? Probably my all time favorite guilty pleasure movie. Or maybe The Last Unicorn. That counts as a horse movie, right?
The Greening of Whitney Brown. Oh my goodness. WORST. MOVIE. EVER. Made me laugh though, even though it wasn’t a comedy. 😉