I Interrupt This Monday

I Interrupt This Monday

I interrupt your regularly scheduled Monday so I can bitch about a hipster who I think may be currently plotting my demise.  But first, let’s back up a little.

Originally this weekend I had fun horsey plans scheduled, but I had to cancel.  To make myself feel better about originally cancelled plans, I made different fun horsey plans which… as you guessed, were cancelled.  Therefore much of my weekend was spent with me trying my best to stick to my diet while lounging around with Pascale and watching Doomsday Preppers.

Yes, those are my pug pajama pants.  Yes, you are jealous.
Yes, those are my pug pajama pants. Yes, you are jealous.

The rest of my weekend was spent getting my entire living room cleaned, scrubbed and sold on Craigslist.  My mom is (oh so nicely) sending us her living room set, so I have to make room literally for the new furniture as well as try and collect some extra cash for a chair and finishing accents for the room.

Now, I live in a house with three dogs and three of the items I am selling are upholstered.  I know nobody wants to buy furniture that hasn’t been cleaned, so I spent hours scrubbing, vacuuming, Oxycleaning and Pet febreezing all of my upholstered furniture before I listed it on Craigslist.  One of these items was a fairly cheap ottoman, which I put up for $40.

Thus begins my story.

So I place ottoman up with really beautiful state of the art photography.  I mean, you can see how much I have photoshopped this bad boy to make it glow.

The offensive ottoman
The offensive ottoman

Actually no, it’s just a slightly dingy cheap off white ottoman.

So waify hipster chick emails me around 2:30pm saying she wants to see (and pick up!) said ottoman and can come by after 3:00pm.  I email her my address, and say that will be great.

I wait and wait, and nothing happens.  Around 5pm, I think I get an email from someone else asking about said ottoman.  This is my fatal flaw of the day, because it’s actually hipster chick emailing from a different email address.  I respond to her original email and say, “Hey you need to come get this thing because other people are asking about it.” but the other person is actually her.  Bear with me, this gets even more confusing.

She says she can come by at 8:00 or 9:00pm.  I say 9:00pm, because Tim will be home then and I will have time to go to the grocery store and get dinner.  She says okay.

I get a text at 7:15pm when I am making dinner, saying she is 15 minutes away.  I say we need to do this quicky, since it’s a lot earlier than she originally said.  She shows up, and immediately is terrified of my ancient one eyed Boston Terrier.  I put up offensive creature, and show her the amazing ottoman.

She asks if my animals have been on the ottoman, because she is highly bothered (not allergic, but bothered) by pet dander.  I say no, they don’t sit on it (which is the truth… it’s usually covered in crap so they can’t sit on it).  Hipster chick waffles about it not being as clean as she wanted (it had minor stains and scuffs) and blah blah she would need to buy a steam cleaner to clean it and blah blah.   While hipster chick waffles, I stand there and say nothing (remember this, it’s important later).  She makes no decision, and eventually I say I can reduce the price if she likes.  Hipster chick offers $30, which I accept (would have taken $20 or free… just get this thing out of my house) and we carry it out to her car.  Done deal.

Not a done deal.

Pascale is already worn out by this drama
Pascale is already worn out by this drama

I get the following email:

do you still have that person interested in your ottoman? I would like to bring this back to you to sell it to them. I didn’t realize how much pet dander & pet smell is on the couch. It is actually making me pretty sick. I drove home w/ it & got sick in the car. I can not bring the ottoman inside my house & I’m almost positive I’ll get even more sick from cleaning it

I’ve never asked a seller for a refund on Craiglist before, but I just had no idea there would be this much smell or dander from the pets. It is not the hair, just the stuff you don’t see. I should’ve asked you beforehand but assumed the ad would say. I couldn’t tell the smell or how much it would affect me until I got it in the car. I’ve not had that strong of a reaction to a piece of furniture before, & I’m positive it’s from the pets.

After receiving this email, I get really annoyed.  I reply after bitching about it for twenty minutes, and I go into a lot of detail with my response which is “No, sorry.  I don’t have room for it.”

So then I get another email.

I understand but surely you were going to have it until you sold it agin, though. So I’m confused. (Yes, I had it until I sold it to you…) You said you had other interested buyers. (Which was you emailing me from your twin address?) As I recall, I responded to your post w/in a few hours, so I imagine you’ll have plenty of time to sell it. Honestly, I felt pressured when I was at your house. (Pressured by me offering to sell it to you for less money?) I don’t feel I was told the whole story or that the ad said everything – especially about the pets. (You literally saw my pets while you were looking at this exquisite piece of furniture) I want to believe that was on accident & that you didn’t intend to dupe me. But the fact that you won’t even be willing to take it back to sell to your other interested buyers makes me think that might be a possibility. I really hope not.

This is really an unusual request. I have never once asked for a refund for anything on Craiglist & I’ve bought & sold many things for maybe close to a decade. (That’s because if you want to get refunds on an item, you buy them for full price in a store) I want to trust that buyers & sellers will be honest & do fair business. I feel like this situation warrants a refund, otherwise I wouldn’t ask for it. I’m a responsible person & I know I was partly responsible as a buyer in this situation, but I don’t want this to be a ‘Buyer’s Beware’ scenario where I’m afraid to buy anything again b/c of it. & I don’t think you’re that type of person, either. (Yes, I sure would hate to scare your waify afraid of Boston Terriers 90 lb self from using Craigslist in the future…) If it were me, I would probably take it back b/c of how unusual it was & how little time you had it up.

My pressuring sales force.
My pressuring sales force.

There was a bit more, but it’s not important.  This is the point where I started to see red and Tim took over my phone and exchange.  He emailed waify hipster chick back and said that we cannot take the ottoman back.  She can put it on the curb/trash/whatever, and if she sends us her address we will mail her a check.

We really would.  I don’t mind giving this crazy person her money back, but I need all furniture out of my house as opposed to in it… and I also never want to see her again.  Because she’s crazy, and because I might punch her.

It’s been about an hour since the last email, so my guess is she’s either too scared to give out her address for a refund or she’s making a voodoo doll of me and my pets.  I’m still pissed off, but mainly because I have two more expensive items to sell and I can’t even begin to predict where else the Craigslist crazy train will go.

Have you ever been stalked by a tiny hipster in black rose print skinny jeans?  Should I just be happy she’s too small to successfully murder me?

33 thoughts on “I Interrupt This Monday

  1. Craigslist crazies are the worst. I went through this last year when I moved in with Rob and sold a bunch of my stuff. Sometimes I swear it’s just better to give it away. I had a chick and her boyfriend in my house with 4 different pillows, setting them on the couch (a $100 couch mind you) and taking pictures from different angles and with different lighting. Seriously, she asked me if I minded her turning lamps and stuff on. They were there for 30 minutes and didn’t buy it. For gods sake, it’s A TAN COUCH.

  2. I sold an IKEA table and chairs on Craiglist- the gal turned up and had forgotten her wallet. I, like you, was just like- take them away please. She asked for my address and actually ended up mailing me a check.
    For me CL is touch and go. I don’t mind selling there but not my fav place to buy

  3. Except tiny chicks are devious and shit. Gah, what a nightmare. Tell her your giant horse will be waiting at the curb for her if she ever returns and he has 8x the dander and hair and isn’t potty trained, so he MIGHT doody on her. *gasp*

    smh. PEOPLE.

  4. I can’t even.

    Honestly! It’s freaking Craigslist – it’s USED furniture. If it was that bad, she could just turn around and sell it herself – and duh, Febreeze!

  5. ugh boooo crazy craigslist buyer! lol she should try and report you to the better business bureau… how clueless.

    also boo that your plans were canceled. good luck selling the rest of your stuff!

  6. When I graduated from college I was living with a few roommates and we split the rent/utilities. When one roommate moved out, we posted an ad on craigslist searching for a roommate. We said we were a pet-friendly home, so one girl brought her very young puppy who was not potty trained yet. She let this puppy roam unattended throughout the entire house while we gave a tour/talked to her. We decided to decline her if she couldn’t supervise a puppy!

  7. UGH. I hate CL too. And garage sales. I just donate all my things (sans eq higher-priced items that I do sell on FB/ebay) to places where I get a receipt and write it off on my taxes. It’s still $ in my pocket, just not an instant payday. And no crazies.

  8. tiny chicks might slit your throat in your sleep. I don’t understand people who are “EXTREMELY BOTHERED” by animal smell, not even like animal excrement smell just normal animal smell (my mother can’t stand the way horses smell she literally gags when she gets in my car and no one else is bothered by it…)

  9. How frustrating! Even if she gives you the address, I do not think you should send her a refund. Just cease any further communication with her of any kind – you can’t reason with crazy.

    I’ve had a few frustrating Craigslist sales experiences. At this point, I normally just donate any furniture or household goods rather than go through the trouble of selling. We have local charities that will come and pick up stuff from your driveway – you just call ahead and they leave you a nice tax-deductible receipt in your mailbox. Hassle free, for a good cause, and no drama!

  10. What a horror story! “I know I was partly responsible…” No, hipster: you were fully responsible. You were not mislead. You were not duped. “I don’t want this to be a Buyer’s Beware scenario…” That is what it is-all day erryday day on CL. Some people’s kids…

    That said, my only interaction with Craigslist was super amazing- that’s where I found the Belgian mare I leased. Loved her, her owner was awesome- we even became roommates. **results not typical haha

  11. I really hate Craigslist. I was selling a horse trailer once and the people brought their mechanic who kicked my puppy when said puppy went to greet him. Then another horse trailer selling experience the woman said excuse me, walked to the other side of the trailer, dropped her pants and peed. I shit
    you not!

  12. Here’s what you need to do. Email her back and re-state the obvious “So sorry about your allergies, blah blah blah. I totally understand that you can’t keep it, so I’m forwarding the email of the other buyer so you can contact her directly. Since I sold the ottoman to you at a discount, you may actually be able to make some money by selling it to the other buyer for the original price. The other person sounded VERY interested and was ready to pick up, so you shouldn’t have a problem selling it to her right away.”

    I mean, if she’s pretending there’s another buyer ready why don’t you pretend too?

    I’ve had mostly good luck on Craigslist. It’s EBay that scares the pants off of me. I bought a saddle (stupid, stupid, stupid) off EBay and it was a hot mess and I found out later had a broken tree. Sigh.

    Good luck with the crazy!

  13. Wow. If she had time to write that long of an email over a $20 ottoman, her time really must not be worth anything.

    My husband and I once bought a couch on craigslist. Once we got it home, we realized it wasn’t going to work for us, so (get this) we re-listed it on craigslist. I don’t think we even lost money on the deal. It was a nice couch for someone else.

  14. Ok, I had to laugh! I mean, this sucks for you, but man, people are BATSHIT!

    I currently have some t-posts listed on CL. One guys calls me up, tells me he wants them, and then says he doesn’t get paid till next week. Soooo… let me get this straight. You don’t have the money but you want the t-posts? How about you call me back when you HAVE the money, hmmm?

    And yes, PLEASE do what Mona suggested and let us know the outcome!

  15. DO IT LAUREN!!! (what Mona said) we need a Part II to this story!

    I had amazing luck with CL when I lived in Seattle. Would literally post an ad and by the afternoon the item would be gone. But my experience with the local one here in Tejas hasn’t been so great. Sad, because I had some awesome mid-century modern stuff to sell and couldn’t even get a bite. And I had it listed CHEAP! It ended up at goodwill, because I needed it gone.

  16. Ugh, this is why I can’t use Craigs List anymore. 8 years ago or so, it used to be a relatively straight forward way to buy/sell stuff but now everyone is bad shit crazy. I was once selling a black IKEA couch and some guy kept phoning me to inform me the couch was blue, not black, and “was I sure the couch wasn’t blue?” and “was there a way I could check?”. Huh?? The couch only came in three colors and blue was never one of them, but he still refused to believe me even when I told him to check online. And I won’t even get into my tale of leaving work early and driving across town in rushhour to deliver concert tickets to someone who then informed me he had changed this mind AFTER I arrived at the agreed upon delivery time. ARGH!!!!!!!!

  17. Lauren. This is the best/worst. I literally LOLed several times. But my favorite part is when she says that if it was her, she would “probably” take it back. She can’t even commit herself, IN A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION, to do what she wants you to do. Classic.

    I sold my horse trailer last month off Facebook…Oh. My. Gosh. I might need to do a “sister post” to yours.

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