I really thought about not posting any until I had more news, but this blog is really important to me. I’ve had it pre-Simon and I will have it post-Simon (which is hopefully in like 20 years). So, here’s another not exactly uplifting post.
During my mega-pouting session last week, I did a lot of pondering on the subject of what I put on the internet.
If I were to critique my blog, I would think that I’m a bit elitist, a bit judgey, a bit wannabe hunter princess and a bit smug about my journey with my freebie OTTB that went from green to can at least get around the ring and sometimes win ribbons. Those are the negative things.
On the positive side, I think I write fairly well. I try to have diverse topics, keep things somewhat interesting, be realistic about my goals and limitations, and be honest with my issues in this equine world.
Though I don’t usually ask for feedback (sometimes I do), I often get it. Some of this feedback I really appreciate, some I don’t agree with and can ignore (thanks but no thanks) and some I’m too sensitive about. Mainly, when I expressed some concern that I was too heavy for Simon I was given a lot of feedback, including one person who (politely) messaged me privately saying that yes, I was.
reflected pouted about this for several days, and I’ve digested it. I don’t bring it up to start a “Am I or Aren’t I?” battle or bait everyone to comment about how wrong that person is and blah blah blah. Please don’t, this post is not about that.
Instead, it’s about what I put out on the internet. I put pictures of myself riding my horse, and it is obvious I am not a tiny person. I state openly about my weight concerns… so am I opening up that dialogue simply by doing so?
When someone posts a jumping video that terrifies me, they’ve opened up a dialogue about equitation in my head. Even if you’re like “don’t look at me!” … I’m looking at you. I can’t help it. I’m digesting the content which you are providing me. If you ask for feedback, I’ll provide it whether it’s positive or not. If you don’t ask for feedback, I usually don’t give any… unless I see someone struggling over and over and can’t seem to help myself.
Does that make me any better than people who give unsolicited feedback about me being too heavy for my horse? I think it’s the same.
I don’t really know the answer for this. I could take the issues that I’m sensitive about off the table. I could write a blog that is 100% doesn’t rock the waters and just post lots of pretty pictures of ponies that I take and only tell you when Simon does something amazing, but I’m not sure I want to do that either.
Not making any decisions or even getting that upset about it, just pondering. What do you think? What do you try to “put on the internet” and do you have any of the same thoughts/worries I do?