The Thing With the Ring
Ever since I decided to stop wearing my wedding rings, I’ve been wondering what to do with them. It seems like an easy enough problem, but I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do.
Part of this has to do with paperwork. After Tim gave me my engagement ring, it took him less than 24 hours to ask me if I wanted to know how much he spent on it.
“NO! Why would I want to know that?”
“You know, just in case you’re curious.”
I was not curious. I think this is a dangerous thing to know about such an important item – mainly because I was a brat. What if it was “too low” and I started some kind of spoiled brat pout session? What if it was too much and I freaked out about he couldn’t afford it? I already felt a lot of pressure since I have a propensity to lose things, and did not need a dollar value attached to this responsibility.
Of course after he died, I managed to find the paperwork in a matter of days without even looking for it.
Now that I don’t wear the ring every day religiously, I’m panicking that something will happen to it. When I traveled a lot last month, I felt certain that my apartment might get broken into. Therefore, I decided the best bet was to hide my valuable jewelry… mainly these rings. I stashed them in the cup holder of my office (mental note: find new hiding place now) and that’s where they’ve sat for the past several weeks.
A cup holder doesn’t seem like a very ceremonious place for these items that I have such sentimental attachment to, so it’s time to find them a new purpose in life.
Googling “widow ring” gave me some interesting results. First, a previously undiscovered shopping opportunity. While I may be doing some minor retail therapy, I can promise that I will not be purchasing any of these gems.
Sure, a widow’s gotta do what a widow’s gotta do to get through this shit storm… but is anyone else disturbed by these? I find the concept of someone marketing a black, broken heart ring to a depressed and shocked individual upsetting. If I were to design a Lauren “Widow ring” it would look like one of these:
Aside from buying something gaudy and terrible, the internet also gave me some lovely options for what to do with my rings. These options include:
- Tie them to a kite and let them fly… make someone else’s day!
- Throw it in the lake or ocean.
- Tie them to a helium balloon, lay down and “let go” while they float away.
I think with my luck lately, the kite and/or helium balloon would get stuck in a small aircraft propeller and be the cause of a local tragedy. Ironically, I wrote a short story in college where the main character throws a wedding ring in the ocean. I guess this is what I get for being a little over the top in the short fiction of my past life.
After ruminating some, I’m going to not go with the ocean plan and instead hit up a local jeweler. My hope is to get the small diamonds from both of my bands refashioned into a new, thin criss cross band of some sort. The engagement stone is harder for me, but for now I plan to get it made into a simple pendant.
At first the pressure of deciding the “final” resting place of my diamond was a lot, but I’ve decided that if I change my mind later I can always get it redone. After all, if this summer has taught me anything it’s that nothing is permanent.
30 thoughts on “The Thing With the Ring”
Your idea is very beautiful and tasteful. The existing widow rings? Ummmm. I guess we all grieve in our own way, some creepier than others?
Well originally I was going to get my small diamonds in a chain to spell out “Thug Life” but on second thought decided this was a better bet.
Thug life is perfect. Do it.
I would support this.
wait why isn’t thug life an option?
It’s a little more tactful to fit my new ring for my middle finger. That way when someone asks how I’m feeling, I can show them. 😉
Like x 1,000,000!!! I kinda did this when I broke my middle finger falling off of Tanner. “Hey, wanna see my broken finger?” *flips them the bird*
This just made my day 🙂
Lauren, if you don’t have a jeweler in mind, I have a good friend that owns his own shop and does lots of custom work. http://www.originalsjewelryandgifts.com/ He’s near the Arboretum. Whatever you decide to do will be the right answer.
Thank you! I will check them out 🙂
I don’t know that I’d be interested in doing anything with my rings, but I’m not a huge jewelry wearer myself. I actually haven’t worn mine since August because I need to have them resized. I think I’d just put them in a safe place, whether that is somewhere in the house or a safety deposit box. I may change my tune once we see how yours turn out, maybe I’ll be swayed then. 😉
I like what you’ve chosen. Glad you didn’t decide to go with one of the rings you found. So depressing. I get that it’s a sad time but why would anyone want to be reminded like that. Enjoy your new-old jewels.
Egads, those rings are AWFUL.
I love your idea of refashioning your rings into a pendant and/or ring. Tasteful and meaningful.
PS – I love the humor in this post and in the comments. The Thug Life pendant idea had me laughing at my desk.
Apparently that idea has a lot of supporters!
Maybe inscribe thug life on the new middle finger ring? 😉
i love the idea of turning the rings into a new and fresh piece of jewelry that can take on a story and meaning of its own, separate from the ring but still carrying the same stone.
I’m not sure how I feel about taking thousands of dollars in jewelry and literally throwing it into the wind. And I think my husband would haunt me! I think having it fashioned into something else is a much nicer idea.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure Tim would come back and slap me if my engagement ring “made someone else’s day.”
While I do love “Thug Life”……I think your ideas are perfect!
PSA – helium balloon releases are terrible for animal life. If anyone is contemplating please google for better ideas and more info on why it’s terrible.
The refashioned ring concept sounds about perfect though.
I figured as much. There are a ton of “balloon release” ceremonies for widows/deaths/all that crap on the internet. People should think first.
Those widow rings are hideous!! Absolutely hideous!
I think your idea of getting the ring reset into something new and different is a good one; far better than throwing it away!
I like your idea of a criss cross band or even the same type of design but as a necklace pendant. I have a couple rings with small diamonds in them and I’ve been thinking about getting them refashioned into some type of cross or arrow design on a choker necklace.
This design is cute and could use both your engagement and small diamonds. Just an idea 😉
I like your idea on the new ring finger. 🙂 The serenity prayer ring is really awful, as that prayer is a big part of AA. Nothing like announcing that you’re an alcoholic & a widow at the same time. 😛
Your designs are much more to the point!
I really like the first ring. The others are really distasteful.
You are going to need a silver grill to go with your thug life chain. Just saying.
Anyways, I love the options you have chosen. I hope whatever you choose makes you a little happier, even if it is just the new beauty you find in the ring.
Today I learned that widow rings are creepy. But I like your ideas. Thanks for making me snort with laughter while discussing what could be a rather sad and painful topic.
x2. I mean, I have a very dark sense of humour & very often cope with bad situations through jokes (note: catastrophic fail if one has no impulse control in public)…but ummm…0.o. However, I add my votes to Thug Life & would totally buy “Fuck Me,” (perhaps with an asterisk for ‘not to be read literally’). As for security, I put lots of things in a very Safe Place. So safe that I can’t even find them. You’d think that by 36, a person would learn to just say no when they hear their brain go, “I’ll just put this important thing in this nice Safe Place so I won’t lose it.” *headdesk*
Apparently there is a market for everything! These ring suggestions are super sad and terribly ugly! I could not buy one. But after breaking fingers man handling horses I dont wear my ring anymore. Sadly it sits next to my chap stick and collects dust. Maybe I am afraid of it since it took an hour to take off and it broke in three pieces when the nurse finally removed it when I broke my finger in half? Side note lol
I definitely think refashioning is the best of the options you listed. If you just let them go…. I dunno, I’d think you might regret that down the road. Making them into something new lets you keep them close but still move forward. I’m sure whatever you design will be perfect.