Overall I’ve been really lucky on the riding front. No broken bones, no significant time off, etc. I cracked a few ribs once and hurt my hip in the process, but after about two weeks I was back to normal.
There is one fall that has scarred me forever and gave me what I like to
affectionately call my ass tumor.
See that kind of pointed part of my ass? I hope the cellulite doesn’t leave you blind, but I don’t feel you can introduce a vocabulary word like Ass tumor without some kind of visualization. So that has a story…
Many years ago I was schooling Elvis before an open show over jumps he should have gone over. Elvis was a stopper, but usually a “drive by” kind of stopper. That morning, I gave him more leg because he was up to shenanigans. So he shot forward, stopped abruptly, and then ducked his shoulder and did the AQHA reining horse spin… and with that spin I fell into the jump and took the whole thing down.
So I fell into the jump, smacking my right ass check on the jump cup… the metal jump cup. The metal jump cup that ripped my breeches and exposed my red & white checkered underwear that I decided was a good idea to wear on show day.
Yes, I did safety pin my pants together and show that day. Yes, my horse was a dick and misbehaved all day long in every way possible.
Where I hit the jump cup that tore my pants immediately bruised deeply, and the next day was swollen. I don’t know how I showed that day, because I was in a lot of pain from that spot on my hip as well as lightly spraining my foot that twisted in the stirrup. At this time, my mother sent me to the Chiropractor instead of a proper Dr to get my hip looked at. They told me it was just muscle damage and would go away with their magic treatment… but yeah, it’s been almost 10 years.
So now I have an ass tumor and I don’t go to Chiropractors anymore.