Selfie Sunday – Be Good to Yourself
Since this is primarily a horse blog, I tend to keep the topics fairly upbeat and of course… pony related. In the horse front, I have a lot to be thankful for. It is such a privilege to be able to lesson, train and show like I am right now. Even with our challenges, I am so thrilled to have Simon and really enjoy our time together.
That doesn’t change the fact that behind the scenes, I’ve been pretty low this year.
Sure, a lot of it was related to the dog drama or this thing or that thing, but I began to realize that I was really unhappy with how I was living my life everyday. This hit home the hardest when I went to the weekend horse show a few weeks ago, and was so disappointed with myself on Saturday and so hard on myself. Reflecting the week after, I began to realize that I was making these horse shows oh-so-important because I wasn’t very happy with some of the other aspects of my life right now.
So I’ve been trying to change that.
There’s no black and white answer to feelings of depression, but I’ve tried to break it down into some simple action items I can do. Recently I took it very literal and bought myself a tiny journal (love journals). Every day before bed I try to write down just a list of things I did that day that made me feel good about myself. They are so shockingly simple.
Put on makeup. Do an extra load of laundry. Cook a healthy meal. Walk the dogs. Paint my toenails. Buy a new shirt on sale.
Not for my husband, not for my dogs, and not for my horse… but for me. And I do feel a little better.
I won’t kid myself and say that I’ve found a magic fix for my problems, but living the life I want to live seems more attainable after the past two weeks. That’s good enough for now.
15 thoughts on “Selfie Sunday – Be Good to Yourself”
That is a really great idea, writing down those good things! I might take that and try it myself.
Sending lots of positive thoughts. It can take some work to try and live the life you want to live. You can do it! 🙂
I’ve been running through a mantra myself, writing it down is helpful as well.
I’ve been feeling the same way about my life. I was being so hard on myself that any less than perfect ride left me feeling disappointed and frustrated with myself and my horse. The rest of my life had become incredibly unhappy and I let that creep into my riding. I missed school for two days because I couldn’t face it and realized that I really needed to change some things. That was only a few days ago so I haven’t made any big changes but I’m trying to find ways to feel better but I’ve just being trying to create change and take it one day at a time. Also writing in a journal. I’m so glad you’ve brought this up! It’s something that we definitely need to talk about more than we do because we aren’t always feeling as great as we try to pretend we are. 🙂
So glad to hear you’re feeling better!
Hugs! Also remember that you don’t have to hold it together all the time. It’s ok to screw up. And it’s ok to ask for help. <3
The first step towards feeling better, is WANTING to feel better. Sounds simple, and almost silly, but it is so true. I’m really glad you’re finally starting to do some things for yourself, because you truly deserve them… and you most definitely deserve to feel accomplished and proud of so many aspects of your life, not just horses. 🙂
I know how you feel, just this weekend I broke down and cried in a bbq restaurant. A lot of my depression is anxiety driven and sometimes it just spills over. I gave myself some retail therapy- some cute new shirts and delicious smelling shower gel to brighten my mood. I’ve been going to counseling and I’ve found that has helped immensely- it’s just an hour to “talk it out” and I find it incredibly therapeutic.
The idea of writing down the positive at the end of everyday is a great one! I should start doing that too, all too often I find myself focusing on the negative in my life when I have so many positives as well.
That’s a really good idea!
And without going all therapist-y on you, I think a lot of times we get so focused on the big picture or the future or pleasing others or whatever it is that we really forget to just forget about taking care of ourselves.
What a hard topic to write about. Super kudos for putting this out there.
Sometimes what helps me is talking about my hang ups or emotional downers. Somehow, saying them out loud to someone makes them seems less overwhelming (sometimes even silly). Plus, it’s good to know someone is willing to just sit and listen to me. It doesn’t always work, but trying something is better than nothing, right?
The journal tip is great. And, you’re right, who doesn’t love a good new journal?
I’ve been in a rut myself… I’m glad you’re taking proactive steps to get better 🙂 LOVE the corgi gif how cute
Depression and etc stinks. I’m happy that you’re feeling a bit better!
Good for you for taking the initiative to change things! Be good to yourself and write some positive self affirmations!
I love journals! I have some friends who are doing a “100 Happy Days” challenge. Maybe you’ve heard of it, but they post a status, or put a picture on instagram, or simply do what you do – which is keep a private list – of 1 thing that made them happy that day. Just one thing. To remind themselves to focus on the happy instead of the sad.
The good news, Lauren, is that life gets better the older you get. :0) I struggled with many of the same things you are describing. I went through therapy, took prescriptions, and then just aged a bit. Somehow, a little age goes a long way towards helping us put life in perspective.
Somewhere around my mid 30s my life started to really come together. My marriage matured, my finances improve, and I developed a tremendous amount of self-confidence. As a result, I got really healthy and the stresses in life that used to send me into a tail spin became just “littles.”
Keep plugging along. Do your best. The best is yet to come. :0)
Sorry about being a little late to the party here. Been meaning to comment but lost track of time.
Anyway, I’ll just cut to the chase, I’ve been feeling a lot like you lately. I think that’s part of the reason my regular blogging has fallen apart among other things. Maybe I should try what you’re doing with the daily affirmations. I mean really, when I think about it, my life isn’t so bad. I have a fantastic husband, a nice home, two loving dogs and a great horse. But somehow I continue to stress the small stuff. Frustrating and exhausting for everyone.
That said, I’d like to throw something positive at you. Although you were a bit down about your show I wanted to tell you how much I envied you! I thought you and Simon looked fantastic (oh the shadbelly envy was so high) and I admired how you just went for it in spite of the challenges that were thrown at you (if only you’d seen the emotional meltdown I had last time Dee broke a halter and ran off). You got the job done, you looked great, and you made me want to get out and ride. Good stuff!