You’re probably going to be shocked, but I was job hunting for the last 3 months of my 6 month stint at my job at the cult.  I took any interview I could get (including some really awful positions) to try and get out of there, and finally something worked out.  It wasn’t even a good position, but it was most likely not in a cult.  At the time, that was enough for me.

Before I had another job offer, I fantasized for months about quitting the cult… always in various rageful ways.  My favorite fantasy was during a huddle.  They would ask for volunteers for “people caught being awesome” and I would raise my hand.

“I’m caught myself out for being awesome – I quit!”

I’m honestly too shy to do anything super ballsy like that in front of a large group of people, but I did find my own way to give the company my own little FU on the way out.

See months prior, I briefly had an employee.  I say briefly, because they were determined to fire him.  Said employee wasn’t stupid, and instead of getting fired he found another job and quit.  When he went to the HR department to put in his two weeks, they gave a rather strange response.

“Obviously your heart isn’t in this.  You should just go home.”

I didn’t find out until after the fact.  No one had consulted me on whether we needed his help for those following two weeks (we did) or if I had his files together before he quit (I didn’t).  That moment made up my mind – when I quit, I wasn’t giving notice.

The verification of my new job came a little bit after lunch that afternoon.  I spent the afternoon rapidly IMing my work friends “I’M LEAVING I’M LEAVING YAY” and cleaning up my desk.  I don’t tend to keep a ton of stuff at my work desk, so I had it all squirreled away in my purse by 4pm.  I deleted personal files off my computer, and took my (stuffed) purse with me to walk over to my boss’ mini-office at 4:55pm.

“I have another job offer, and I’m leaving the company.  Since I have been told in the past that X does not honor notices, my departure is effective immediately.”

She blinked at me.

In normal circumstances, I would never do this to my employer.  I even felt bad doing it to her at the time.  She asked me to reconsider, and asked me if I would help the company some during the transition.  I said no to both, so she walked me to the HR office.  I turned in my badge, and never looked back.

Any feelings of guilt went away when my team told me the next week how she told everyone I was “already under review” and it was better for the company that I left.  Yes, better for the company because by me leaving I stopped wanting to murder people every afternoon.

So that’s the epic saga of the worst job I’ve ever had.  Good riddance!

You may also like:

My Job at the Cult – Managing Mojo My Job at the Cult – The Huddle My Job at the Cult – Financial Freedom My Job at the Cult – DISC Profiles My Job at the Cult – The Promotion