Attack of the Winged Insects

Attack of the Winged Insects

I live in a very old house.  When I say old, I’m speaking more like Eddie Izzard’s opinion on American history than old old.  Our house is no 1800’s New England  house (lived in one of those too), but it was built in the 1930’s and it wasn’t built all that well.  More sharecropper’s shack than chic bungalow.


Not only is our shoddy cute house old, but it’s also the most secure part of our wealth.  Why is that important?  Because I’m constantly worried it’s going to implode and leave us penniless.  Lately, the biggest source of that fear is winged insects.

It all started when Tim repaired some rotted wood on our side porch, and thought he saw termites.  Termites are evil y’all.  Termites are death.  For a 1930’s house with wood foundation, termites are panic inducing.

In fact, we tried to buy another old farm house (we have a pattern) back in 2008 in North Carolina.  The deal didn’t go through because the home inspector was able to ram a screw driver through the foundation because it was the “worst termite damage he’d ever seen.”  Whenever I think about termites, I think of that old farmhouse slowly crumbling to the ground… and now I think my house is crumbling to the ground.


While Tim did research on treating termites (how rational), I walked over every spot of my hardwood floor.  It’s soft here!  Is it as soft there?  Is it moving?  Was it that color a year ago?  Is it rotted?  Is there water damage?  You get the picture.

I read the top 3 pages of google results on termites.  When my Dad (a custom home builder) came to visit, I had him crawl under the house with a flash light.

“IS IT FALLING APART YET?” I yelled to him while he was on his belly in the very tiny 2′ crawlspace of our house.

He said it wasn’t.  We treated most of the yard for termites, made a plan to fix the existing damage (small) and finish treating the rest of the house the following weekend.  Crisis averted.

That is, until I tried to go to bed this week.


We walked into our bedroom and found our white comforter covered in flying ant looking things in various sizes.  I squealed sat frozen on this tiny corner of the bed I deemed safe.  Then we went on about a fifteen minute “Is this an ant or a termite” google spree.

The damn things look identical.  How am I suppossed to tell?

After researching too much, we determined they were actually flying ants that were driven inside from the recent heavy rains.  We changed all the sheets.  I vacuumed the mattress and behind the bed like a crazy person, and then my lovely husband crawled into bed to go to sleep like a normal person.

I am not a normal person.

At first I decided I was only safe if I stayed 100% under the covers.  Keep in mind that it’s summer in Texas, but I choose heat and discomfort since the comforter gave me another 3″ of protection against the evil flying ants.

Then I had to periodically swipe and jerk and turn on my phone to check for bugs.  All.  Night.  Long.

I tell you what, I’m traditionally not a suburb person but sometimes I dream of a freshly built two story house where every nook and cranny was caulked in the 2010’s.

19 thoughts on “Attack of the Winged Insects

  1. “I am not a normal person” <– this made me laugh out loud!

    We had a roach issue a few months ago. Big ones. Let me tell you, there is NOTHING worse (except maybe flying insects on your bed) than seeing 2 inches of indestructible grossness crawling down your master bedroom wall every other night. Paranoid revulsion does not even begin to describe it. *shiver*

    We've since taken care of the issue, but there is a special spot in Hell for roaches, and that's just going to be my opinion about it. forever.

    1. Oh man, we used to have those roaches. One night one of them crawled OVER MY PILLOW and I called my out of town husband in a panic! When he logically told me there was nothing he could do about it, I slept in the guest room for the rest of his trip.

  2. Ugh….we get a few of those wolf spiders in our house every winter. They must like water cause they LOVE to hang out in the shower. I can’t bring myself to kill them. I haven’t come up with any logical reason for the one that likes to hang out on the ceiling above our bed though…that one is just evil 🙂 (and makes me hide under the covers all night…it’s bad that he’s there, but worse when he’ s mysteriously missing! Lol)

  3. I actually LIKE bugs, but that… is horrifying. It’s like a horror movie! You should have filmed it! The other day a gigantic 3″ long beetle scurried out of my bedroom closet, my dog touched it, it MADE A NOISE, and then scurried back in the closet. I’m kind of terrified every time I go in my bedroom now.

  4. I’m telling you, no one feels your pain as much as I do. The good news is, I haven’t seen a damn thing moving in our house (except dogs and people) since the Mass Genocide.

  5. When I loved in TX, I boarded at Ft Hood. I was tacking up one day to ride, and I noticed some winged ants crawling on the frame of the tack shed. I walked out and put the saddle on my horse. I went back in for the bridle, and there were more of them on the door frame… I walked out again, and suddenly from EVERY. SINGLE. SHED. A cloud of black, winged insects all took flight at the same time. I watched in awe and horror for the next 15 minutes as the cloud just kept coming… And then, it tapered off and stopped.
    Apparently, this is the way of the termite. They all take flight and migrate at once…
    Are you *sure* they were ants? I mean, you know… Queen ants with wings are usually on per colony, right?

  6. Here in California at the beach we have termites everywhere, and termite reports are required by banks for mortgage approvals. Pretty much every house has to get tented (or foam spot treatment) when sold, and then again every 5-10 years. Makes for a thriving pest control industry. The foam spot treatment normally has at least a full year warranty (on entire house, not just where they treated) and is affordable. Worth researching to see if available in your area.

  7. I hate those flying ants! They sometimes go into my moms barn and get at her old wood…they can destroy wood too. Is there not some sort of coating you can place on your home to protect it?

    That place must a bitch to insure!

  8. Ugh. Nasty buggeses. I hates them all.

    When working in the apartment leasing industy, we had a building with a sudden termite infestation. We found out about it because a tenant called us frantic. She had been showering when millions of flying bugs came hurtling through the ceiling vent into her bathroom. I can’t even imagine. To me not being clothed when attacked by bugs is 10x worse than anything.

  9. We had a pretty nasty flea infestation last fall – had to board the cat out and find a hotel while we bombed the entire apartment, wash everything, vacuum everything. It was AWFUL. I still twitch and jump every time I see a little black spot and it’s been 9 months.

    So, I feel your pain!

  10. I feel your pain. The fiancée brought home ringworm from the surgical center where she works this week and now I’ve been scrubbing all animals in anti fungal shampoo and checking my scalp like a crazy person while rubbing ointment onto every single red spot I find on my skin.

    Sooooo definitely feeling your pain.

  11. Love the new website look!

    My dog brought home a couple of fleas from my BF’s parents house this past weekend. You better believe I washed all my bedding, all his bedding, vacuumed everything, flea treated both animals, and gave myself a long hot shower when I was done. Even though the crisis was adverted, I still felt creepy crawly all night!

  12. Horrible! Several years ago I had a flea infestation after cat-sitting for a friend and it almost drove me to insanity from lack of sleep since I was obsessed with heating up water and shining a light on the carpet to look for fleas jumping up and down. We also had an ant infestation shortly after we moved into our new place (I think some sugar got trailed in) and more craziness ensued. I could not be more sympathetic to your plight!

    I feel for you…flying anthing is horrible and flying ants are a Texas specialty and on behalf of the entire state, I apologize.

    Also, GROSS.

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