If it seems like all I’ve been talking about on the blog lately is moving, that’s because all I’ve been doing in real life is moving. Well, that and going out with my friends as much as possible which makes for interesting-but-not-exactly-for-this-blog content.

While Saturday I spent the entire day hungover and unable to move resting, yesterday I was as productive as can be trying to pack up the last bits of my house. It made me think of some handy dandy moving tips, which I’ve decided to share with you this afternoon.

Pack Your Kitchen First!

Packing up your kitchen is such a hassle, so it’s probably best to get this out of the way first — especially if your mom is visiting and will do the majority of the work for you because she’s super helpful. Don’t worry about actually cooking your last three weeks in town. This isn’t a stressful time or anything, so your body will function great on its own with a buffet of carbs, cheese and alcohol.

Organize Your Stacks of Boxes

Book a pod that will questionably fit all your items, and then organize the boxes into three stacks. One stack is for the pod, one stack for your car and one stack is “Things i hope will fit in the pod but can ship if necessary.” This way, you’ll be able to watch the growing stacks of boxes and panic about how everything isn’t going to fit and you’ll need to spend a fortune shipping extremely breakable, priceless items.

Take All Your Art Down Early

Art and photographs are really what makes a house feel like a home, at least to me. If you take these down a minimum of a week and a half before your departure, your empty walled abode will reflects the transient feelings of purgatory that have been boiling inside you since you decided to move in the first place.

Don’t Pack the Wine or the Wine Opener

You’re going to need this. Forget toilet paper and glasses – this is number one priority for your new place. Don’t even put them in a box. Put them somewhere in the car within arm’s reach so you can bust open a bottle when you get to El Paso and another in Riverside. Friends don’t let friends unpack sober, and since you don’t have any friends where you’re moving yet… you have to be your own advocate here.

Downsize with Facebook Marketplace & LetGo

Don’t know what to do with your extra rug that’s also your dog’s favorite? Somebody wants it. Most likely, somebody wants it for $15. Pretend yourself that you’re getting paid to recycle objects instead of remembering what you actually paid for said rug.

Use Shrink Wrap Bags to Downsize your Clothes & Linens

There’s nothing more satisfying than watch your giant comforter shrink into a tiny, wrinkled mess. It’s similar to what your emotions are doing right now. A little part of you dies every time you seal up another bag, and there’s the added bonus of being frustrated when they inevitably don’t seal correctly and need to be repacked.

Cut Up Rug Pads for Valuable Items

Use the soft, grippy rug pads from rugs you’ve gotten rid of to wrap your breakable items in boxes. Don’t worry about saving these for future use in your new apartment. You have no idea what kind of flooring you’re going to find when you get to the new place, and it’s not really big enough to put a rug down on anyway!

Don’t Even Consider Getting Rid of Books

Get rid of your pots & pans, your extra sweaters and your sentimental knick knacks before you get rid of books. Remember the great book downsizing of 2011, and how you regretted it. Pack all the books. Tell yourself it’s for your education.

Remember Why You’re Moving

It’s going to be sad. It’s going to be stressful. It’s going to feel like it’s more than you can handle, but it isn’t. This is going to be an exciting change for an exciting reason, and you’re going to have to remember that until you get to California. Getting there won’t be easy, but it should be worth it.

At least that’s what you tell yourself while you finish (another) bottle of wine out of the random plastic glass you took home from the pizza place.

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