If I had words to make a day for you,
I’d sing you a morning golden and new.
I would make this day last for all time –
Give you a night deep in moonshine.
– Scott Fitzgerald
I wish I could write about how happy Simon was when I rode him the other night. We just walked around mostly, a mix of floppy reins and bending/collection. The little trot we did do felt nice and sound, so I am officially starting the slow process of ramping him back up to full work.
I wish I could write about my new slightly fantastic TS retro hunter green breeches, or the equally fabulous retro “American Thoroughbred” One Horse Thread shirts I bought during a mini #treatyoself week. Or even the Ovation helmet I picked up for schooling, because I decided I couldn’t handle riding in a non-vented CO during any more 100 degree Texas days.
I would write about those things, and y’all would like it… but I’m tired.
I’m tired of my job. I’m tired of all this shit. I’m tired of my family reading this blog and getting emotional because I’m emotional. I’m tired of some of my best friends being 2,000+ miles away. I’m tired of people saying, “I can’t imagine…” when what they really mean is, “I’m so glad this isn’t happening to me.”
I’m tired of alternating between feeling completely hopeless and almost manic with crazy spurts.
I’m tired of all of this.
Maybe next week I will be stronger, but not today.