During this process, I’ve gotten a lot of kindness and help. Some of it is minor like a card or flowers, and some of it is huge like hiring movers or sending me to a horse show. It’s hard to adequately thank someone for these acts of generosity, but my southern upbringing tells me that the best place to start is a good ‘ol thank you note. Several people have told me that I shouldn’t worry about writing thank you…
I came back to work a week and a half after Tim died. My boss was out of the office that day, but messaged me to check in and see how I was doing. He said, “People may act weird around you,” and I remember thinking tell me something I don’t know! Our society doesn’t really know how to handle someone like me. It’s an unusual circumstance, and people struggle with what to do to comfort someone who has suddenly lost…
Several people commented on my Friday & Saturday show report commending me for my good attitude. Believe me, that attitude is not my natural inclination. I’m a fiercely competitive person. I want to win. I don’t like to step foot in the ring unless I think there is a chance that I will get something in the class. While I don’t feel like I put my competitive desires ahead of my horse’s welfare, the truth of the matter is that I…
For Sunday, I decided to give myself a little more ring time by signing up for the 2’6″ Equitation medal. I had competed in this class once last year, and enjoy it because it’s the toughest course for the height at our local show series. Adding this class meant that I had to get up early on Sunday to come school in the outside ring before the show started. My trainer seemed to think that schooling the jumps would be necessary…
I’m writing this post on Sunday evening with Pascale passed out on the couch next to me. We are both very tired from a long weekend of horse showing. This weekend was one of those “learning experiences” shows for me, and while I did not take home any satin to hang in the new apartment I did really enjoy myself. I think I posted something on Instagram to this effect, but I’ve never had so much fun losing before. Simon was…
Prelude: This post today does not mean I’m sitting here in my desk crying, but rather I’m sitting here at my desk at boots & breeches because I’m showing after work today. Schooling was great, but I’m super busy this week so I have a blog post I wrote a week ago for today. Will have a show report for y’all Monday! I am not what you would call an emotional person. Between the two of us, Tim was always…
My “hump” day this week went a lot like Humpty Dumpty. I spent a lot of time trying to “put it back together again.” Not because I was sad or mourning or whatever, but it was just a really annoying, crappy day. Because the universe is awesome, this week at work has just been completely bananas. I’m not sure if my sad widow card is playing out at my job or if it’s just circumstance, but all the things are happening…
Here’s the thing about my blog lately… when I gather my true feelings over something over the period of a few days/weeks (like moving), I get to the point where I write a somewhat coherent blog post about it. That blog post is typically, really fucking depressing – you’re welcome. However, after I write it (usually during many tears) it’s like a switch flips and I’m back to being a somewhat functional human being. And people say I need a…