I wasn’t going to write about my anniversary yesterday. Last year when everything was fresher, I had dreaded that day and what I should do with it. This year since so much more time has passed, I figured it was just another day. When I woke up Monday morning, I mentally passed the celebration away from my wedding and back towards my friend who’s birthday is the same day. She was in my wedding, and we all joked that I threw…
We all know what happened to me, it blows. Lately some people in my social group g have been admitted into the “Didn’t Expect I Would Be Single In My 30’s WTF Will I Do With My Life Now Please Pass the Wine” club, though they joined through divorce versus death. Now even though I do not suggest anyone out there become a widow (I rate this experience 0 out of 5 stars), I’ve said from day one that I would…
I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. This has been a general theme with me since legitimately everything in my life is different from a year and a half ago (only exception is my job), but my Facebook feed notified me this morning that it was a year ago that I had to let my sweet little BT dog go. Re-reading that post this morning, I thought about my life a year ago. I was living in an apartment shuffling…
It’s been a while since I’ve had strange dreams about my late husband. For months they came in clusters that I couldn’t control. I hadn’t thought much about those past dreams until I re-read the blog post I just linked, and the content of those dreams is so much darker than I remembered. It’s painful for me to read it now almost a year after publication. I can’t imagine how ya’ll felt reading it back then. For the most part the…
I knew I would change after Tim died. I’ve blogged about it. I’ve thought about it at length and talked about it a little with friends. Despite all of those conversations, I can’t tell you exactly how I’ve changed in great detail. As we head into fall, I’ve begun to realize that these changes have affected my horse world. One of the ways I got through the worst of my grief was throwing myself into projects to distract myself from the…
I thought after the one year post that I would stop writing these kind of updates. Grief seemed like something I could wrap up with a neat bow – one year of feelings summed up eloquently with words and then set away in a little box. Of course the truth is a lot more complicated. Life is messy. Relationships, with both the living and the dead, doubly so. This summer has been a rough one for me. Some causes were…
Every time I think of Garth Brooks, I think of Greece. I suspect this is not the statement of your average country music fan, so let me explain. Like many people in the south, I grew up on country music. Reba, George, Martina, the Dixie Chicks, countless others and of course – Garth Brooks made up the soundtrack to our family road trips and daily commute. Adding a country music CD to the family’s collection was never a hard sell,…
Riding, at any level, is often a more mental game than physical. That’s true for me, although lord knows I have plenty of physical limitations and struggles (will I ever learn to sit up? chances are low). Mental toughness has been in the forefront of my riding in the past several years. I knew that I couldn’t be wimpy, and had to learn to believe in myself and my nerd horse to do things like tackle the jumper ring and move…