Change of Perspective

Change of Perspective

I’ve been experiencing a bit of a shift in my perspective as of late.

It started intentionally and coming from myself. When I headed into my lesson on Tuesday afternoon to prep for the show, I decided I would not once say “That looks big” or ask for anything to be taken down. I need to jump bigger, but more importantly I need to believe that I can do this.

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One of my life coping mechanisms is sarcastic humor. That’s all fine and dandy, but sometimes I wonder if my “jokes” about me dying/sucking/ruining my horse are harmful to my psyche. I kind of think they are.

Then life happened, and I realized something. There are things that are a lot scarier than jumping a course of 2’9″ jumps. Yes… even if every jump is an oxer at max width.

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I can be a little intimidated. A little nervous. A little excited even… but I’m not going to let myself be scared of riding or showing again.

Bring on the oxers!

26 thoughts on “Change of Perspective

  1. self deprecating humor can be funny – but it certainly does have a way of wheedling its way inside our heads… love the new attitude tho!

  2. There are lots of things scarier than oxers (but when you are about to jump an oxer it’s hard to believe it)! Good for you for making a change 🙂

  3. If anxiety is a chronic issue, have you considered anti anxiety meds? I ended up going on some mild meds for work anxiety and mild depression issues and a lot of my stupid riding fears have disappeared. My general life anxiety transferred into riding with no real basis.

  4. Yeah I know what you mean about the sarcasm directed at yourself, it can be sort of a harmful refrain to have on repeat in the back of your head. Replacing it with things like “we’ve got this,” can really do amazing things. Personally I say to Tucker, “Let’s show everybody how pretty you are,” on the way into the ring and it calms my nerves.

  5. I think you’re on the right track! Studies have shown how you speak to yourself DOES influence your psyche. So go all Stuart Smalley if you have to. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darn it, you and Simon can jump the sh*t out of 2’9″ 🙂

  6. Totally agree. It’s ok to be nervous but sarcastic humor even when in good fun does not set you up for a positive attitude. You definitely can do all of those things and you are in no way ruining your horse. For any bad things you’ve taught him you’ve also taught him many good things and you’ll reteach the things that have slipped.

  7. This is great! I need to do the same thing. I’ve gone from saying “I can’t do it” to “I’m not ready yet” I’m not sure how to take the next step to make it completely positive.

  8. I learned a long time ago, from Early Childhood Education, that you need to say what you want. Example: Wrong way -Stop jumping on the bed. Right way- Please lay down on the bed. Our heads and mind hear jumping, not “stop”. Same thing goes for affirmative and negative speech about ourselves. If we say we are failures..we become failures. If we tell our children, horses, spouses, dogs they are stupid. They become stupid. this is kinda long, but hope you take it to heart. You are what you say you are. Also, I have started telling my horse what we are doing that week. just a little chat while I’m grooming. I think they know more than what we give them credit for. Ok, now you are thinking, I’m going off the deep end. but what can it hurt?
    Best Wishes, I love your blog, I look at it first thing every day!

  9. You got this! I am a firm believer in thinking positive and seeing yourself overcoming things, not worrying about how you might fail at them.

  10. One of my besties and I were talking about this earlier today. We can be our own best friend or our own worst enemy. The choice is ours and it takes the same amount of effort either way.

    I know in riding my own mares, it can be a LOT easier to find the things I/we did wrong, did not do or even did but not that well. When it comes to listing the things I/we did right??? Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you on that. Unless it was one of ‘those’ rides where everything went right and it just felt awesome.

  11. I stumbled upon your blog this evening and it is lovely. I have had very similar thoughts in the past (especially getting out of competitions for many years) may I suggest a book that helped me a lot- The Gift by Barbra Schulte. It focuses a lot on thoughts and how they affect you with horses specifically, but life in general. All short excerpts- great read with morning coffee.

  12. Great post. It’s very true that self-deprecating humor can take a toll on us. I have been making an effort lately to not make jokes about my riding ability (or lack of) and overall be more positive. I think it’s helping. You are a good rider and you can do it.

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