I went to the barn today. I thought it would be terrible, I really did. I was supposed to go a week ago for the barn holiday party and yearly awards, but I couldn’t bring myself to face his empty stall when everyone was drinking and having a good time. So I sent my trainer my regrets, and put off going back until I felt like I couldn’t put it off anymore. When Simon first died, things were pretty bleak…
When I first moved to my beloved California barn last year, I heard a lot of rumblings about a big horse show coming up. We’ll be at year end. Everyone’s getting ready for year end. They were referring to the IEHJA, our local circuit, year end show. No stranger to local horse show finales, I figured I knew what it’d be like. Maybe a nicer facility, a few special classes here and there. All year, everyone gushed about how great the…
Last week, I said goodbye to my perfect spaniel. After I wrote the post outlining the details of his cancer, I was flooded with messages of support and love. Those notes gave me so much comfort. Both in knowing that I’m not alone with the immense struggle that is deciding when to release a beloved pet, but also that because everyone echoed that I’d know when it was time… and that it was probably not too soon. I was completely…
A lot happened in my blogging absence this summer. Some of it was fantastic, but a lot of it was not. I promise to update on happier things soon, but something that’s especially been weighing on my mind this week is Eliot’s health. I got Eliot, the most beautiful dog I’ll ever known, for my 21st birthday. All of my other dogs have been rescues, but Eliot is the embodiment of my deep rooted love for purebred dogs. In his…
Watch Scrubs. Scrubs is the perfect depression TV show. It’s funny enough to make your facial muscles twitch upwards every few episodes, but dark enough to remind you that people die — often early and unfairly. Ignore the diet that’s actually been working really well for you. Pick up a sorrow pizza instead. Get a side of sorrow chicken fingers to go with. Extra dipping sauce. Overeat, and go to bed curled on your side with a pillow around your stomach that aches…
Get a referral to an orthopedic surgeon for your continuing knee pain. Find out that your legs aren’t in straight alignment. Your knees are angled to the inside, but your hip and ankle are straight — so every time you step down your knee cap grinds out. Hear it’s super common in women, but most don’t show symptoms until their 50’s. Because you’re active, you have pain a lot earlier. Learn it’s not curable. Start thinking about what chronic pain…
I’m supposed to be showing at my barn’s local IEHJA show this weekend, but after losing the “Will I Lesson?” game too many times… I’ve taken Simon off the list. Truthfully, I’m super bummed. I was really looking forward to getting back in the ring with our new skills, but he got another abscess that sidelined him for a week. Although he’s sound and happy again and I’ve had some great rides, it’s not fair to my horse (or my…
If horse blogger friends aren’t the best kind of friends to have, they’re at least in the top 5. At least that’s how I felt after equestrian blogger extraordinaire, L Williams, came to see me last week. Though I’m blessed to have some awesome writing friends that I’ve made through my MFA program, I have to admit that I really miss going catching up on the latest barn drama over margaritas or analyzing everything horsey with my barn friends back…