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Month: July 2015

From Rawr to Defeated

From Rawr to Defeated

I feel like I have no control over my life right now. I’m a bit of a control freak, so you can imagine how well this is going for me. Each day I make a list of things I need to accomplish. This is a list of 4 out of 342395832043 items that haven’t changed status in days. – File travel insurance claim forms – Get process for vehicle transfers – Get health insurance policy # – New toll tag…

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Rawr

Rawr

More than once, I’ve been asked if I’m angry. At least right now, I’m not angry at Tim. He didn’t mean to end things this way. I don’t think I’ll ever understand what he was dealing with. His death was a preventable accident, but still an accident. I am angry at a lot of things though. I’m angry that Geico upped my car insurance 15% because I had previously been “enjoying a married drivers discount” since married drivers are statistically…

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Finding Joy

Finding Joy

When Tim first died, it felt like all the joy in the world had been sucked out of the world in an instant. I soon learned that I could still feel happiness during this grieving period, but I had to look for it really hard. One outing we did to bring some smiles was take Pascale to a local Austin spot, “Barking Springs.” It’s something Tim and I had talked about doing for years, but BT isn’t good off leash and…

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Just Say Yes

Just Say Yes

Everyone keeps asking how I’m doing. My response is pretty much always “I’m okay,” because there aren’t really words to accurately say how I’m doing. I get up. I feed my dogs. I feed myself. I go do stuff. Some days I set aside for productive days. Those are pretty much just for tackling the poop list. They are mentally and physically exhausting… a blog post for another day. In between my productive days, I try to do some fun…

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Three Years of Nerd Horse

Three Years of Nerd Horse

I still have so much to sift through right now, and I’m overwhelmed. I am dangling some carrots for me to get me through this rough time, but I won’t be ready to blog about my ideas until I know where my feet are more. However, there is a bright spot that still shines and that is my Simon. Each year I like to compare two similar photos from the previous years. You can see year one and year two…

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Teach Us to Sit Still

Teach Us to Sit Still

Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still Even among these rocks, Our peace in His will And even among these rocks Sister, mother And spirit of the river, spirit of the sea, Suffer me not to be separated And let my cry come unto Thee. – T.S. Eliot The reality of what has happened is slowly sinking in. One way to expedite that realization is to pick up your husband’s remains from the funeral…

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The Furbabies

The Furbabies

Forget how I’m doing, how are my dogs? As you can imagine, when everything happened Thursday the dogs were the farthest thing on my mind for a while. However, when I got kicked out of my house turned crime scene I had them in the back yard with us. They alternated between bringing us toys to play with and letting me hug and cry on their fur. I’d like to say they knew what happened, but I’m pretty sure they…

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