This entire post is full of first world problems. I have nothing legitimate to complain about, and I realize this. Compared to some people’s problems, I am oh so lucky at the moment.
That being said, I’m going to whine a little bit.
While 2014 certainly could be worse, it hasn’t exactly gotten off on the right foot. Dog drama abounds in my house. We are almost two weeks post BT’s enucleation and I still haven’t been able to breathe easy in my house. She’s doing well, but pretty fed up with having to wear the cone. She bumps into a lot of things still, and spends a lot of time pouting because she hates it so much. With Eliot (the dog who bit her), I have to keep an eye on him 100% of the time. We are giving him mood stabilizing vitamins, but so far I haven’t seen a big difference. The next step is a prescription, but our vet wanted us to try these first. I’ve also been trying to change how I deal with him and my dogs as a whole so we can work towards having a harmonious household again. It’s not easy, and it’s pretty exhausting. On bad days I almost wish he’d come down with some kind of terminal illness so I’d have an escape… that is completely awful to say and I know I don’t really mean it, but that is where my head goes in a dark time right now.
Continuing with the animal theme, Simon has still not been 100%. He came out looking weird for my trainer, and then worked out of it. I had the chiro out (more on that tomorrow) which helped but didn’t fix everything. It’s not so much that I think he’s going to be lame forever, but I’m concerned some of these little things may be caused by a bigger issue that is lurking in the shadows. More-so, every ride lately has been analyzing each step he takes instead of simply enjoying riding my horse. I think at this point I’m more looking for problems than anything, and his weak hindend (historic problem with him) is more obvious to me when I’m looking for problems.
A lot of Simon’s weirdness would be fixed if I could get a properly fitting saddle out, but I’m still waiting on mine. Delivery is still on schedule from when I made the order, but it’s pretty annoying to have so much money tied up in a saddle that is still weeks away… especially when I truly think my horse would be a lot more comfortable with it.
All this is pretty stressful for me, and I’m a big stress eater. One would think I’d be shoveling pizzas right now, but I started a pretty intense diet about two weeks ago. I’ll post more about that one day, but it’s pretty standard and not a fad diet or anything. Still, it’s really hard for me to follow. When I eat whatever I want, my diet is one long #thisiswhyyourefat explanation. I won’t blame my extra pounds on anything other than my love of processed carbs, cheese, bacon and sugar… preferably all at the same time. Overall I’ve been pretty successful on the diet front, but the past several days I’ve been eating poorly and seen the weight loss stop and the pounds come back on. I will get back on track, because I’m committed and this is going to be a successful year for me weight loss wise… but it’s hard to cut way back on my favorite foods and it’s hard mentally to handle my eating mistakes. I’m pretty good at beating myself up about it.
So that’s the state of things right now. There’s a few other don’t-want-to-blog-about-them-now things going on in the back of my head as well, and I really just am trying to get little things under control right now. Like laundry… and cleaning off my dining room table. Those are the challenges I feel comfortable tackling at the moment.