Selfie Sunday – Case of the Mehs

Selfie Sunday – Case of the Mehs

This entire post is full of first world problems.  I have nothing legitimate to complain about, and I realize this.  Compared to some people’s problems, I am oh so lucky at the moment.

That being said, I’m going to whine a little bit.

While 2014 certainly could be worse, it hasn’t exactly gotten off on the right foot.  Dog drama abounds in my house.  We are almost two weeks post BT’s enucleation and I still haven’t been able to breathe easy in my house.  She’s doing well, but pretty fed up with having to wear the cone.  She bumps into a lot of things still, and spends a lot of time pouting because she hates it so much.  With Eliot (the dog who bit her), I have to keep an eye on him 100% of the time.  We are giving him mood stabilizing vitamins, but so far I haven’t seen a big difference.  The next step is a prescription, but our vet wanted us to try these first.  I’ve also been trying to change how I deal with him and my dogs as a whole so we can work towards having a harmonious household again.  It’s not easy, and it’s pretty exhausting.  On bad days I almost wish he’d come down with some kind of terminal illness so I’d have an escape… that is completely awful to say and I know I don’t really mean it, but that is where my head goes in a dark time right now.

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Continuing with the animal theme, Simon has still not been 100%.  He came out looking weird for my trainer, and then worked out of it.  I had the chiro out (more on that tomorrow) which helped but didn’t fix everything.  It’s not so much that I think he’s going to be lame forever, but I’m concerned some of these little things may be caused by a bigger issue that is lurking in the shadows.  More-so, every ride lately has been analyzing each step he takes instead of simply enjoying riding my horse.  I think at this point I’m more looking for problems than anything, and his weak hindend (historic problem with him) is more obvious to me when I’m looking for problems.

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A lot of Simon’s weirdness would be fixed if I could get a properly fitting saddle out, but I’m still waiting on mine.  Delivery is still on schedule from when I made the order, but it’s pretty annoying to have so much money tied up in a saddle that is still weeks away… especially when I truly think my horse would be a lot more comfortable with it.

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All this is pretty stressful for me, and I’m a big stress eater.  One would think I’d be shoveling pizzas right now, but I started a pretty intense diet about two weeks ago.  I’ll post more about that one day, but it’s pretty standard and not a fad diet or anything.  Still, it’s really hard for me to follow.  When I eat whatever I want, my diet is one long #thisiswhyyourefat explanation.  I won’t blame my extra pounds on anything other than my love of processed carbs, cheese, bacon and sugar… preferably all at the same time.  Overall I’ve been pretty successful on the diet front, but the past several days I’ve been eating poorly and seen the weight loss stop and the pounds come back on.  I will get back on track, because I’m committed and this is going to be a successful year for me weight loss wise… but it’s hard to cut way back on my favorite foods and it’s hard mentally to handle my eating mistakes.  I’m pretty good at beating myself up about it.

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So that’s the state of things right now.  There’s a few other don’t-want-to-blog-about-them-now things going on in the back of my head as well, and I really just am trying to get little things under control right now.  Like laundry… and cleaning off my dining room table.  Those are the challenges I feel comfortable tackling at the moment.

20 thoughts on “Selfie Sunday – Case of the Mehs

  1. Allow yourself to have a bad day or two. We all have them. I blame winter for most of my feeling meh. Im less like that in the warmer months. Also dieting is hard and even if you’re on a super sane one, the change in eating habits can and will effect your mood. So really be aware of that and try to be kind to yourself. 🙂

  2. Aw, bummer. It is the worst when the things that should make you the happiest become a point of stress. I hope things sort out with your dogs and Simon.

  3. I so feel your pain, Lauren. This last week in particular has been one of feeling a loss of control. It just seems as though everything is snowballing into this giant avalanche. I deal with it by checking off little things on my list. Maybe if you try to do one little thing, it will start to “right your boat.” Take five minutes (set your phone’s timer) and walk up your block for 3 minutes and back in 2. You’ll take a bit of your dieting concerns into your own hands, you’ll get some fresh mind clearing air, and you’ll get to walk away from it all for a bit. Sometimes all we need is a little distance. Hugs to you and yours. :0)

  4. Starting with little things like laundry and cleaning the dining room table are always good! Just think of how accomplished you’ll feel when you can sit down and eat at the table, or when your laundry basket is (mostly) empty!

    And it’s so true, you can never eat just one slice of pizza. (Let’s not talk about the pizza orders Johnny and I have gotten, hoping the delivery guy will think we have like…a dozen children.)

    Good thoughts your way for sure, though! 🙂

  5. With what I went through last year, it is important that you make self care a priority and give yourself a big pat on the back when you do things as simple as brushing your hair, and putting clean clothes on. Seriously. *hug*

  6. So frustrating! I’ve been trying to eat better too, and it goes really well and then those delicious and sneaky carbs and cheese combos sneak back in with a vengeance!

  7. That is a lot to deal with – don’t feel bad for needing to get it out. Animal issues are very hard, especially for people who always strive to do the best for them, like you do. I hope the dogs find harmony soon and that Simon doesn’t have anything serious going on. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Take care of yourself and try not to be too hard on yourself.

    I find it helpful to make sure I have healthier options readily available to snack on – make them easier choices than the less healthy options. Like a big container of mixed veggies peeled/washed/sliced and a container of hummus. Getting my ass on the treadmill is a bigger hurdle though.

  8. Just because they are “first world problems” doesn’t mean they aren’t problems that can get to us and it doesn’t make us bad people to get down about them either. I hope things start to look up soon. You’ll be in my thoughts.

  9. Hugs to you. There is nothing more stressful that are animals not feeling right. Don’t feel guilty for being frustrated. Take time for yourself and focus on at least one positive thing you have going on. And when all else fails, vent!!

  10. Well we can have a collective sigh about our not quite right horses, although yours sounds better than mine, lol.
    The dog thing would be hard. You don’t want to blame the dog because it wasn’t really anyone’s fault, but that’s not how we think. I was very nervous adding a third dog to our house because the two were so good together, and I think I got lucky that they all are great together so far. Could you do a comfy cone instead?
    And I hope your saddle comes fast! I waited forever for my Butet, with my old saddle all padded up to make it work. Sucks!

  11. OH, Is there something in the air? I also confirmed Friday that my saddle is not fitting my gelding and has actually caused some white hairs and uneven muscling of the shoulder. Sigh. I’m waiting to get a test saddle to start the process of buying a new saddle (something I had NOT budgeted for).
    My dog troubles: the neighbor has a pack of 6 big dogs which he refuses to keep contained. Wednesday evening they came into my field and attacked my German Shepherd while I was out feeding the horses. My dog is OK but it is so stressful not knowing when they might come back.
    Not near as troubling as having discord between the dogs in a household- you have my utmost sympathies there!
    No advice, just wanted to let you know you aren’t all alone in being in a “funk” over such things. Hugs:)

  12. *hugs* This winter feels never ending.

    I agree with everybody else. Sometimes it’s just accomplishing the small things that start you back on track. Maybe it would be possible to give Simon time off until his new saddle gets in? Willow has some soundness problems, and I’ve found sometimes that just time off this time of year helps her a lot. I think horses get the winter sads too.

    Hang in there, it’ll be spring soon!!

  13. I almost wrote this post myself the other day. You’re not alone. ::hug::
    May I please ask what the mood-stabilizing vitamins are? My family is dealing with dog fighting issues and could use all the help possible.

  14. *hugs* I am in a whiny mood too….I haven’t been able to blog because I am just not in a happy place right now. I can only imagine how stressful it is with your dogs….I foster a lot and I know the challenges of keeping a happy household. Can you give Simon a week or two off to see if maybe he just needs a rest? Maybe you could both pamper yourselves in the meantime…

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