Same Sh*t, Different Day

Same Sh*t, Different Day

My horse is lame.  I know you are all shocked.

I could go on and on about all the details, but I’m not.  Our barn quarantine is lifted in a little over a week.  When that’s up and we’re free to leave the property, I’ll be arranging to get him to College Station where I’ll get a second opinion from an equine sports medicine vet several of my friends recommend.

Until then, I’m trying to remember that I’m not a special snowflake.  Many others have it way worse than me.  I have a lot to be thankful for.

Even my dog misses horse shows
Even my dog misses horse shows

I’ve been battling depression and anxiety all summer, and equally as long I’ve been dealing with these issues with Simon.  The two aren’t mutually exclusive.  It could be way worse, but I miss my hobby and I look forward to the day where I don’t worry about my friend almost non-stop.

On the blogging front, things have been hard.  I promised myself I’d keep this blog active through the year so I don’t back out in a dark time on something I used to love.  I’m in a glass cage of emotion (Anchorman anyone?), but I’ll keep getting content out for now.

Something more light hearted tomorrow, I promise.

38 thoughts on “Same Sh*t, Different Day

  1. I even listed more show shirts to try to pull you in to my tack sale…

    It’s probably obvious in my blog that Stampede struggled with an ambiguous not lameness (as I learned that it only applies to an unevenness in gait) for many years which was very hard on me as someone who purchased him as a green but happy pony. I still struggle to balance my riding goals with his welfare. I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. Always follow your gut, you know your horse best. The rest you have no control over so try to just be honest with yourself and not worry too much about the rest. In the end (sometimes after a loooong wait) answers will be found and you will do what is best for your boy.

    1. And you do such a good job managing your boys. I hope we can get towards something like that in the future! 🙂

      We had about two to three weeks of him feeling great, and now probably due to several reasons he’s telling me something is up. Such a frustrating cycle… horses!

  2. *huge hugs!!* From me, Kenai, Atticus, Hodor, Q, and Griffin. (Griffin also sends a nuzzle nudge as this is his favorite sign of affection and comfort.)

  3. Hopefully the second opinion will give you something to work with as far as a diagnosis and I hope its something simple and you can move forward with a lighter heart!

  4. I’m sorry to hear you’re having difficulties. I was recently reflecting on how much of my own emotional stability is caught up in Tristan. It’s a tough balance to strike: horses bring you up and down with no rhyme or reason.

  5. So sorry to hear about Simon and your difficulties with the summer. Hopefully the second opinion will be helpful so you can start treating him.
    Wishing you guys the best, hugs!

  6. Sending hugs to you and good vibes for your second opinion. Is there a friend’s horse or school horse you could ride sometimes? That kept me sane when my old gelding was dealing with lameness issues.

    Good luck! 🙂

  7. Ah crap.

    It’s been a few years, but I dealt with a lot of daily ups and downs when Guinness was suffering through his arthritis fetlock fusing. Injections helped some, bute helped a little, 24/7 turnout kept him limber, but every day his soundness was a coin toss. To top it all off, his feet were very sore, too. I remember pretty vividly how upsetting all of that way, and how frustrated I was with the discomfort my horse was in. Luckily, his fetlocks finished fusing some and he isn’t lame on the daily (just when he gets kicked/slams his cannon bone into the fence/steps on his own foot/insert other remarkable way horses hurt themselves here), but I’ll never forget that rough period of time.

    I hope you get it figured out, but know that sometimes the only way to get through is knowing you’re doing your best (and I think you are!), keeping active, remembering that it’s okay to be upset, and coming up with things to do with your horse while he’s out (trick training? become the best at turn on the haunches? trail classes?)

  8. We’re all here for you. And I know how hard it was for me to fess up to why I wasn’t posting anymore, so cud-ohs to you. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and Simon.

  9. Hugs and happy thoughts! I hope the second opinion gives you some answers. Sometimes the not knowing is the most stressful. Take care of you most importantly! Keep plugging away at the things you love and going to the barn. Ride when someone offers you a horse to ride even if you don’t feel like it. I bet after you get on you will feel a tad better.

  10. I’m so sorry to hear about Simon, lameness issues can be so frustrating. You are such a good horse mom but when things go poorly with our horses it’s hard to remember that. While you’re waiting to get him looked at I cannot suggest that you check out the following link enough. I’ve been riding with this man for years, he has completely changed my way of riding and views on lameness. It’s a ton of information, and I totally get it if it’s not for you, but I can’t sit here and not suggest it 🙂

  11. Ugh, Simon! There’s nothing worse than not having a straight diagnosis to work with. The ambiguous NQR can be such a downer. I hope you get him figured out soon. He’s got such a good mama looking out for him!

  12. 🙁 Hugs to you. Lameness is just the worst, especially when it comes on top of an already hard year. You need a racetrack to play at…

    Don’t tell your hubs I said that. :-p

  13. Hey! I’m really sorry about Simon and I hope things do clear up. I understand the depression and the anxiety when I was stuck with a non-ridable horse, but I tried to find other things that we could do together. Have you ever looked into Red Light Therapy? My friend does it but unfortunately isn’t out your way. If there is anyone around you, you should definitely look into it. It helps in healing and pinpointing a problem. Check out Ciara is awesome and maybe she can help with some advice. I know it’s different and not completely orthodox in the hunter world, but it’s worth a shot! Keep truckin’.

  14. seems like all of my favorite bloggers have been experiencing some major set backs this year!! (myself included). I know the feeling, it sucks, and it’s totally OK to feel all the feels you feel. Hang in there- good vibes your way.

  15. Awww… I’m so sorry to hear this. It has been a hard year for lots of people and horses, seems like. I’m sure it will get better, but until it does, it is very hard. Hugs and good thoughts!

  16. So sorry Simon isn’t feeling great and that you are having a rough time as well. Hope that something turns around in your favor soon, you have certainly paid your hard times dues lately.

  17. Ugh!! I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.. I think the only thing worse than a lame horse is a lame horse that you aren’t sure how to fix.

    I’ll cross my fingers that you are able to figure him out soon and start moving forward (and of course that it’s a simple fix).

  18. I am sorry you are going through this (still). I can empathize, because my horse’ s health has dramatically reduced our riding activities, something I used to rely on for my happiness. Best wishes.

  19. I didn’t comment earlier, but your issues with Simon WILL pass. I read something not long ago that really struck a chord with me, and I have embraced the thought wholeheartedly. It is this: Anxiety is worrying about the future, depression is worrying about the past. We really can’t do anything about either, so when you feel yourself becoming anxious, recognize that it is simply worry about what MIGHT happen. And when you feel depressed, remind yourself that you are simply stuck on what has already happened.

    In my 30s, I went through a period of about 6 months where I was clinically depressed (harboring thoughts of suicide) and sought the help of a therapist. I know that you just can’t smile and shake it off, but recognizing and addressing what causes the depression can help reduce it.

    I have also struggled with anxiety my whole life. Someone once told me not to borrow trouble. I love that expression because that’s exactly what anxiety is – borrowing trouble from the future.

    When I find myself starting to feel anxious, I stop the train of thought right in its tracks and move on to something else, ANYTHING else. If you can shelve the issue, most times it doesn’t come out the way you were “planning” for it to happen anyway (which is usually a worst case scenario like my horse is going to DIE!).

    Keep on keeping on, Lauren, and this too shall pass.

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