As you know, I’ve been thinking a lot about horses and horse showing lately. While a lot of this has been deep and theoretically, I have decided something concrete – I need to host a horse show. I’m thinking a low key, no thrills event with satin as long as our torsos since everything is better with amazing ribbons.
Location to be determined, but I wanted to toss out my tentative divisions to y’all and get some feedback!
I’m Over 30, Work Full Time and Can’t Remember My Courses Jumpers
Your entire course will be read by the announcer as you jump it, and there’s no jump off because we recognize it’s completely irrational to ask someone to remember two back to back courses.
Lead Change Optional Hunters
Horses will not be penalized for lack of changes. May do simple changes or just canter on the wrong lead ’cause aint nobody got time for trotting.
Isn’t my horse pretty? Hunter Model
Handler is given 90 seconds to narrate about why said horse is pretty. Standing optional. Glitter encouraged.
I Sometimes Do Flatwork and Call it Dressage Freestyle Dressage
Rider is given 3 minutes to display their dressagz. No letters. All sideways movement counts as “Half passing”. Leaning forward and long reins encouraged.
That Oxer Looks Big So Let’s Make it a Crossrail Hunters
Fences set to 2’6″ or not depending on how much adult amateur owner panics when approaching the ingate. This division has a surcharge which is used to tip jump crew.
Hunter courses with hunter heights, but judged like a jumper class. Perfect for the changeless speedy horse who’s owner can’t memorize a course. Can cross enter into “I’m Over 30, Work Full Time and Can’t Remember My Courses Jumpers”
Cross Country is the Good Part Event Derby
To be held in the field. No dressage or stadium.
Flat Classes Are Too Crowded Un-crowded Flat Class
Riders hack in groups of two to avoid traffic jams. To be held in third ring and expected to run until 11pm.
Make sure to let me know what y’all think. Are there any of these you’d enter your horse in? I’d like to start planning right away! 😉