Disclaimer – this post has nothing to do with pigs… or toes. It’s probably a pretty stupid title now that I think about it. What this post does have to do with is budgeting, which is something I fail at.
This is how it tends to go down.
OH MY GOD SELF! I spend way too much money. I can’t live this way. I should probably have a freak out about it, and start doing all my shopping at the dollar store. NEVER SPENDING MONEY AGAIN. Budget all the things!
Usually, that’s as far as I go with budgeting. About two weeks later I’m both tired and terrified of my dollar store groceries, and I slowly revert back to old habits.
Lately, I’ve decided it’s good practice to check in with this budget on Sunday evenings. This is how that tends to go down.
OH MY GOD SELF! I have already spent over half of my grocery budget, my restaurant budget and my gas budget… plus I had a huge vet bill. I wonder if I could classify fly spray as an entertainment expense instead of a Simon expense? Is it possible to get by the next two and a half weeks on two tanks of gas… or $100 of groceries? How mad will Tim be if I start buying cheap peanut butter instead of the all natural stuff. I will never budget successfully. I fail at life. I should go eat a cookie.
Then I feel bad about myself for the entire evening and sit up at night wondering how I’m going to pay for X thing up in the future and pondering how long can I last without horse showing before I just shrivel up and die. Now I’m being dramatic (because let’s be honest, that’s how I roll), but budgeting is just not one of my strengths.
Somewhere there’s a happy medium between “la la la I live paycheck to paycheck AND I’M SO IGNORANT AND HAPPY” and “IF I SPEND MONEY THE GOOD LORD WILL STRIKE ME DOWN.” I’m not exactly sure where that is. I joke, but this stuff gives me major anxiety. I blame a family history of hearing how awful debt and credit cards are and how they’re pretty much going to ruin your life. Not that I am happy about my credit card balance, but I think the ulcers and lack of sleep I’m developing from worrying about it may off me well before the balance drives us into bankruptcy.
Of course having a half lame half show horse doesn’t help things at all.
So bloggers who (in my head) are all successful budgeters and therefore better people than me – any tips? I’m really good at saying no to significant monetary purchases, but sometimes I feel like that’s the only good money strategy I have!