My entire life I’ve wanted to be able to talk to animals. I’m sure I’m not the only blogger who feels that way, but being able to speak with my menagerie has been towards the top of my superhero wishlist for a long, long time. Since I haven’t been bit by a radioactive spider or struck by lightning recently, I’ve found other ways to fulfill my Dr. Dolittle dreams.

It all started with a stuffed lobster dog toy that Tim gave puppy Eliot. We were sitting in Tim’s living room playing with Eliot and his new toy, and jokingly called it a “Wobster” instead of a lobster. Because Tim and I were incredibly goofy together, the Wobster turned into an entire dialect for Eliot in a matter of days. Don’t ask me how my South Carolina English Springer Spaniel that was born in a trailer ended up with a prissy boy accent with busted L’s and R’s, but that happened.

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Some of Eliot’s catch phrases include:

My name is Ewiot and I am a mawine biowogist. I study wobsters and fwogs.

I just weawwy weawwy wuv my mom, okay?

Never fear – BT had her accent too. I am not proud to say that she spoke in a stereotypical Mexican accent… for no apparent reason. It just seemed to fit. She was a fesity, angry little dog with a voice to prove it. BT routinely called me a “Stupid beetch” She only had eyes for her “Teimmy” and we spoke to her in this ridiculous voice so much that she didn’t learn to “Sit” but rather would “Seeeeeit”.

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Pascale is a southern princess. I don’t do the Texas accent well, but I’ve got the southeast/deep south nailed. She’ll waggle up to you and greet herself in a saccharine, southern drawl.

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I’m just a simple girl from Manor y’all. My momma says I’m a pretty little panther lady.

Because Tim and I were incredibly goofy people, we had conversations between us and the dogs in their prospective voices a lot. It was a silly, fun part of my family unit and something I keep up even without him now.

I had Roman less than a week before I decided what his voice would be. Part of it has to do with the show name I picked for him, Romanov, but I’ve decided he speaks like a middle aged, slightly angry Russian man.

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I do not care much for your Texas and your heat.

There’s one animal that I haven’t been able to figure out a voice for, and that is my most beloved nerd horse Simon. Why I can’t escapes me. He’s the most personal horse I’ve ever had. I know him as well as I know a close friend, yet I can’t figure out how he talks. At this point, I’ve almost decided he might be a mute.

I mean, that face says it all right?
I mean, that face says it all right?

Am I the only person in the blog-o-sphere that makes up voices for their animals?

33 COMMENTS

  1. You’re not the only one! Even though Ax was born here in the US, I think he talks like a dopey child with a german accent.

    “Valk? I valking, mahm.” “No valk, I vant to cahnter.”

  2. All of our school horses have voices! Hobby was imported from France and demands 90% perfection before doing anything.

    “What was zhat? You expect me to cantair from zhat aid? I sink not!”

    Beau demands 95% perfection, so obviously he’s a Russian ballet instructor.

    “And one and two and three and four…if you cannot keep rhythm, I will not even consider jumping that oxer.”

  3. All three of my boys have voices, although my horse is the least developed and therefore the least “vocal” – it’s like I hear him in my head and in my heart so I can’t quite speak a lot in his voice.

    But my dogs, oh man, it’s on! My little dog mostly speaks in curse words and my big dog talks about everything under the sun. They crack me up.

  4. OMG I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!! Max has a very distinct voice, a mishmash of a bunch of different accents. He is a simple little soul. Catchphrases include: “I love dese warms. Warms is de best.” (when lounging by the roaring fireplace) “Oh… well I dunno. I never thot about dat before.” (when asked a philosophical question), “I see you haz some food dere. Can I haz dat food?” and “Oh Misser Stuffy. I loves you. You are de bestest Misser Stuffy in all the land.” (when playing with his favorite toy)

    Does anyone else name their dogs’ toys??

    Dino sometimes sounds a little like Max, only way, way smarter. But mostly I ‘hear’ him in my heart so he doesn’t have a very distinct, audible voice.

  5. My puppy dog has a voice all of his own. And it pretty much just always sounds like an irritated child who calls his own mother (me) a bitch, A LOT.

    Strangely, Gavin doesn’t have a voice at all either. I see him, I connect with him, but he’s a mute, just like your Simon.

  6. I am not great at voices/accents so maybe that’s why I don’t often do this to my own animals (this doesn’t preclude me from speaking TO them in ridiculous voices, however). I am more on the each one has a thousand names and counting train…and I enjoy poking fun at them for their actual sounds/mannerisms.

    But I have plenty of friends whose fur babies have their own “voices” and I think it is hilarious! I love it!

  7. Glad to know we’re not the only ones! Love all of the dogs & Romanov as a slightly grumpy Russian man. 🙂

    We made up voices for all 4 cats, both dogs & Doug the lizard. Ozzie has a goofy lisp, The Dude has a high squeaky voice, Cocoa is a gruff old lady, Serena is a delicate flower & Doug has a sling blade southern drawl. Duke is pretty sarcastic, while Maggie went from worried princess to tough chick depending on the circumstance. Not totally sure of Relic’s voice yet, but it’s been less than 2 weeks. So far he’s the cuddliest happiest border collie ever, kind of an ADHD bumblebee. 🙂

  8. This is amazing, and I am so glad that I’m not the only one who does this. I like to think that Yankee is a gay latino man. 1) he’s WAY in to geldings 2) he just has that pizzaz and sassiness. Bacardi would be the dumb jock or spoiled frat boy hahaha.

    I do not care for your texas heat. HILARIOUS

  9. “I’m a pretty little panther dog” LOL!!

    I honestly don’t have much of a “voice” for the horses, but our dogs do have ‘voices’ and certain phrases.

  10. My animals all have little catch phrases too. Miles’s is “MA! THE MEATLOAF!” from Wedding Crashers. Sometimes he just gets this look in his eye, like ‘really, c’mon lady’ and I just imagine him being kind of an outspoken loudmouth.

    For Rocky, it really depends on the situation. But I often speak for him, especially whenever someone comes in the door. He’s always so excited! Haha

  11. I can’t do accents well, but Fred and the cats definitely all have their own little voices and sayings. Never done it with the horses… I always joke around about w