Don’t Wait

Don’t Wait

I would generally describe myself as a fairly confident person. I’m not perfect, but I have a lot going for me. I don’t think I’m ugly and I don’t mind meeting new people. For the most part, I can put my best foot forward and tackle challenges.

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My Achilles heel if you will, is my weight. When I see myself in pictures, half the time I crumble inside and think really poorly of myself. This is something I’ve been working on for years, because deep down I know that it’s not a mark of who I am as a person. Still, not an easy thing to deal with especially when I know it’s my fault.

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Because of this, I have always waited to get nice pictures done of me and any of my horses in the past. I always thought, “Oh I’m going to lose a bunch of weight and THEN I will look good enough for nice pictures,” or “I’m too heavy now there’s no way the shots will look good.” It’s a self defeating thought process, but it’s how I’ve been living my life.

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I’m not sure what changed – maybe my overall strive to love myself wholly, but recently I decided that however I looked now was just fine. We don’t know what can happen. If I want something as simple as nice pictures, I should make that happen while my horse is sound my husband is healthy and we’re all loving each other.

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So I called out Anneke Paterson, and that’s what we did.

We got really nice photos of my little equine family, and I love them.

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I’m not perfect and plastic like the models in equestrian catalogs (although I do admit I smoothed out a few lumps and bumps in Photoshop), but I’m me. That’s good enough!

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The reason for all my touchy feelyness is not to put some kind of sob story behind these pictures or to look for compliments or sympathy. Don’t need that. What I am saying is that if you’ve felt like me, don’t wait to do stuff. Just do it. It’s cliche, but carpe diem. Life is too short to sit around waiting for stuff just because you may or may not be thinner or better or prettier or whatever in the future!

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P.S. – There are a million (okay, that’s a slight exaggeration) photos from the shoot that I love.  These are some of my favorites but I’ll be sharing more around the blog periodically.  Also next week I’ll write some tips for surviving a photoshoot with your horse!

39 thoughts on “Don’t Wait

  1. Hijacking your post here …

    You know, Lauren, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Every single one of us deals with some insecurity or another. Some of us deal with lots of insecurities. I think I have a few years on you (I’m 42) so that gives me a slightly different perspective. I have found that age (aka life experiences) helps you acquire an “I don’t give a damn” attitude. And I like it!

    It is up to US, not a spouse, friend, horse, dog, or whatever, to orchestrate our own happiness. I sometimes write about my insecurities or fears on my blog, but I consider myself to be a very well-balanced and happy person. My blog simply helps me put my insecurities and fears in perspective and deal with them or kick them to the curb.

    I decided a long time ago that I wanted to be happy and so I make it a point to fix what’s wrong and do what it takes to feel good about life. You know I’ve lost some weight recently, but it wasn’t because I felt bad about myself; I simply felt unhealthy and less athletic. We would all love to be supermodel thin, but in reality, would it make us happier? Probably not.

    I applaud you for embracing who you are right now. Two of my colleagues, whom I love dearly and consider to be good friends, are very overweight, but they bring such joy to my daily life that I wouldn’t want them to be any different than they are.

    You are a talented, creative, and lovely woman. I am so happy you can see that. :0)

    1. Thank you for the kind words. You’re absolutely right – we all have obstacles and insecurities. I have chased weight loss in the past thinking it would make me happier or better, and that didn’t work out so well ;). I hope to have as positive attitude as you and find more happiness in the years to come!

  2. Beautiful pictures. And your advice is spot on. For no particular reason other than laziness, i never got around to taking pictures like these and now it is too late 🙁 Every time I see someone else’s, I kick myself!

  3. Great pictures! I think you look super cute in your dress and boots. I love family photos with horses. ( : Or any kind of photo shoot with horses, haha. My poor mare has had to endure many, including my bridal portraits! ( :

  4. I think you are gorgeous. And of course Simon is gorgeous, too, but it’s pretty clear he already knows that. 🙂

  5. You are beautiful, don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Personally, those thin models typically are unhappy, hungry and upset. Be happy. The photos are absoloutly gorgeous!! I was waiting on pins and needles to see them! 🙂 As usual, Simon looks to die for. Can I have him? 😉 Red and him would be really good buds. Ya know, let the Bay-Baby’s with cute snips unite.

  6. Love the pictures! You guys look great. I think my fav is the 3rd one down – adorable – but they’re all beautiful!

  7. So right when you said “while my horse is sound.” That’s a day by day thing at my house. Great pictures. I’m waiting for my hair not to be gray.

  8. So um, two things: 1) I am seriously in love with these photos!! You guys look PHENOMENAL! 2) You really need to post your “tips for surviving a photoshoot with your horse” earlier in the week rather than later… because I need them. Like ASAP.

  9. Hey! Your photos are phenomenal. I know exactly what you are saying. When Shane and I were preparing for our equine engagement shoot I kept putting it off. I wanted to loose 10, 15, 20 pounds. Well, it wasn’t happening. Then we got in to rainy season. Finally, I said screw it and the pictures turned out AMAZINGLY. Plus, they are my only really great photos of the mistress before I lost her. They are my memories of her. You are spot on in your assessment of carpe diem. You never know what is going to happen in life, embrace the day and don’t be ashamed of anything!

    1. I’m glad you got the pictures and loved them! I didn’t even get engagement photos done because I was “holding of”… these were sort of a quazi engagement shoot that I never had.

  10. Lovely photos….I agree %100 you have to do what you want to do now, and not wait. Life is just too short and unpredictable. Good for you.

  11. You are so right. This was a lesson I learned late, too late – and it was also because of my weight. Always thinking, after I lose the weight. And then it *was* too late. ‘Fat’ pictures are better then no pictures. I did get pics the first year I had Sam – and I don’t really share them because of my weight, but *I* have them and they are special to me. Reminds me that I should do it again very soon. Your photos are lovely and my favorite is with your 2 boys in the forefront – as they should be 🙂

  12. I think all your pictures look wonderful. Living in the moment like our horses do is something to strive for. In the past I’ve always put pictures aside just because I needed to lose weight, have better hair etc. but now as I age I don’t really care much anymore. I used to worry what people would think but now I don’t. After all who cares as long as we’re happy and feeling good. My horse has never said, “by the way, that outfit doesn’t match today” or “are you kidding me, you’re really not going to feed me breakfast in your p.j.’s and boots!”

  13. Love the photos! The last one is really, really nice. Living in the moment can be so hard – I’m very guilty of putting stuff off until I’ve lost weight, etc… but am doing better about just getting myself out there.

    Can’t wait to see more pics!

  14. I went through this exact thing when I was considering getting my photos done this fall. Truth be told, I have far less confidence than you exude in this post, but I told myself to suck it up. At the very least, I’ll have some lovely photos of little Mex.

    You and your family look great. I love the photos. Kudos.

  15. I really love the photos. These are definitely not something you’ll ever regret. And, I’m really looking forward to your post on how to handle a photo session with your horse!

  16. What a remarkable post! I recently retired from the Marine Corps and have NEVER had to worry about my weight my entire life… until the last year 🙁 I had a back injury and am unable to run, I have put on over 35 pounds and am very discouraged about it. Thank you so much for writing from your heart! Glamour shots with my boy will be scheduled soon!

  17. I was the same way about taking pictures of myself with my pets or husband, but I realized one day that my pets wouldn’t be here forever so I just let go of my self consciousness and started taking pictures of myself. It’s not like I had to share the ones I didn’t like with anyone else! I haven’t regretted my decision even once and I even love most of the pictures! 🙂 Also don’t feel bad about editing. I have horrible acne and I edit my skin in my photos. There’s nothing wrong with that hehe. Also I think you look great! The pictures are so awesome! I really need to get pro photos done of all of us together sometime. 🙂

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