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Year: 2019

Some Final Pages to Simon’s Chapter

Some Final Pages to Simon’s Chapter

I’m more aware than I’d like to be about how time can heal some wounds. For the past month or so, life has seemed quite a bit less hopeless as I try to heal from losing Simon. It’s reassuring, because immediately after he died I wasn’t sure if it ever would again. I’m glad I was wrong. Of course the other side of grieving and healing that I’m also hyper aware of, is how refusing to let go of your…

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Knees Are a Dumb Joint and I’d Like New Ones Please

Knees Are a Dumb Joint and I’d Like New Ones Please

I feel like there’s still so much I wanted to update y’all on in my long summer of no blogging what-so-ever. Of course, a lot of that involved horse show updates that seem too painful to write now, but I am feeling good enough about life to catch y’all up on some non-Simon related areas. Today we delve into the oh so fun topic of my knees. For the past several years, I’ve had pain in both knees. If I…

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The Gifts We’re Given

The Gifts We’re Given

When I feel like I’ve been robbed of something, I try to focus on the things to be thankful for. It sounds pious, but I assure you it’s not. Rather, I have to concentrate on the amazing experience that was Tim and Simon instead of feeling like I’ve had all my happiness ripped away from me. Because frankly, I feel like I’ve had all my happiness ripped away from me. Yesterday was my local horse show organization’s year end banquet….

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A Capricorn’s Take on Grief and Therapy and Pushing Through

A Capricorn’s Take on Grief and Therapy and Pushing Through

There are a lot of things I want to express in this post, but I also know I don’t have a ton of mental energy to accurately do that. So, let me tell ya’ll this. On Monday, I picked up a package from my mailbox that was both unexpected and large. In it was the most beautiful book of my horse beautiful horse, which I sobbed over. Like, I sobbed so hard it took me three times flipping through the…

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Life Without Nerd Horse

Life Without Nerd Horse

I went to the barn today. I thought it would be terrible, I really did. I was supposed to go a week ago for the barn holiday party and yearly awards, but I couldn’t bring myself to face his empty stall when everyone was drinking and having a good time. So I sent my trainer my regrets, and put off going back until I felt like I couldn’t put it off anymore. When Simon first died, things were pretty bleak…

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